Kapiti News

What is grief and why do we need to grieve

- By Andrew Malcolm

HAVE YOU THOUGHT OF RECORDING YOUR FUNERAL WISHES, OR EVEN PRE-PAYING

YOUR FUNERAL EXPENSES? THINK OF IT AS AN EXTENSION TO YOUR WILL.

- CALL US TODAY TO DISCUSS -

Grief is what follows the death of someone you love:

Grief is a process, not a state. The process takes time to work properly and cannot be rushed. Grieving is normal and healthy. Grief is a natural function by which you will make a healthy adjustment to the significan­t loss in your life. However, society can make it difficult for you to grieve openly and naturally. This is where a bereavemen­t support person can be invaluable. Your way of grieving will be a uniquely personal experience. Grief is NOT about forgetting, or the painful letting go of memories. Rather grieving is a process where good memories are affirmed and bad memories are healed.

The grief patterns:

Feelings of shock, deep emotions and sadness, sometimes relief, tears and laughter, depression and loneliness, physical symptoms of distress, feelings of guilt, hostility and resentment, difficulty in continuing usual daily activities, adjusting to a new way of living.

Your grief can often affect the way you see yourself and the way you look at the world. A bereavemen­t support person can accompany you as you navigate the changes and move forward into your new future. It is very important to recognise and work through your feelings. Repressing grief, and failure to allow this natural healing process to take its course can take a toll in many ways.

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A support person who cares is vital:

It is of great value to share your feelings with at least one trusted person. You may have supportive friends and family to talk with, but many people find it is easier to speak freely with someone independen­t, who they don’t know personally.

A bereavemen­t support person will:

Spend time with you, listen to you and allow you to express opinions without passing judgement, support you as you make adjustment­s and move forward into your future, respect and value you through your time of pain and respect your vulnerabil­ity.

And provide the names of profession­als who can help if it is felt that is what is needed.

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