NO PAIN, NO GAIN
You need to embrace pain and change in order to grow and enrich our lives, writes
THE PLATITUDE “growing pains” isn’t only about our physical growth spurts and the muscle aches and pains associated with it; growing pains applies to changes in all aspects of our lives — physical, mental, emotional and even spiritual.
Projects we want to start, businesses we’d love to run, relationships we feel deeply about, and adventures we want to try all come with risk. Risk, change and pain along with anxiety are all closely related cousins.
As humans, we are creatures of habit. We operate our lives from our comfort zone of repetition and boredom. Change throws us into a tizzy because it brings with it a smorgasbord of emotions, some good, some challenging, some scary and some even painful.
Pain and fear in some form are part and parcel of change because change requires movement, stretching and growing. We are asked to move out of our comfort zone into unknown territory in order to explore and enrich our lives, and fear is a natural reaction when faced with uncertainty about the unknown. We feel vulnerable and anxious because we don’t know what may happen or what the future may bring.
Feeling the emotion of fear often means we are close to making a lifealtering decision, and encountering pain suggests we have reached an important crossroads with a choice to make.
Will we take the high road of discipline and discovery or the low road of fear and despair? Forging on through pain and fear leads to relief, excitement, success and positive lifestyle shifts, while running from it leads to regret often followed by despair and hopelessness.
The voice of fear is an unforgiving tyrant that immobilises and paralyses us in one frame or chapter of life. We’re caught in a cycle of repetitious familiar choices that keep producing the same results. We hide in our cocoon of selfprotection where we fade into the background without ever realising our full potential. Einstein nailed it when he said: “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.”
Adopting an honest attitude when faced with change, acknowledging that it won’t be easy, that fear is a natural reaction, is the logical first step towards successfully moving through it. We must be willing to accept the pain and discomfort associated with it.
Billionaire and bestselling author Ray Dalio states: “It is a fundamental law of nature that to evolve one has to push one’s limits, which is painful, in order to gain strength — whether it’s in the form of lifting weights, facing issues straight on or in any other way.” He goes on to state that “it is more important to do big things well than small things perfectly”.
Embrace change and stop engaging with fear. Let go of old beliefs and patterns of behaviour. Life is an ongoing evolutionary journey filled with hardships, and challenges requiring hard work and conscious effort, but the rewards of overcoming are infinite. On the flipside of pain and hardship are joy and success waiting to greet us. Approach life with the same attitude you know to be true about exercise — no movement, no change, no strength, no growth.
Remember, what you resist persists. Running away from life’s issues, avoiding changes that would work to improve your position in life and numbing yourself to pain won’t get anything resolved, nor will you learn, grow or heal. And one thing you can be sure of, the lesson involved will come knocking again if not embraced now.
Feeling discomfort through change indicates we are expanding our horizons. When we lean into it and face our fears we open a whole new world of possibilities, expansion and growth. What was once perceived as failures or setbacks are now embraced as learning experiences and stepping stones to broader horizons offering a more fulfilled and rewarding life.
When change comes knocking, so does choice. “We either lean into the pain of change, or run away and live with the pain of regret.”
Change is mandatory and a natural part of evolving. Our reaction to it and any pain associated with it is the only thing that matters. We either learn, grow, expand our awareness and gain personal strength via a healthy dose of self-discipline, bravery, focus, commitment and risk-taking or we lose strength, shrink, and fade into mediocrity. Sounds a lot like a gym or fitness slogan, doesn’t it? Because it is. Embracing the pain of change with a positive, healthy attitude is fitness for life.