The ‘Quirky’ Farmer /
A Mackenzie Country station owner is becoming known as much for his repartee, flamboyant suits, flashy shoes, unusual transport and his ‘quirky farm tours’ as he is for his quality Angus beef.
Step inside the colourful world of farmer and individualist Ian Hayman
IanHayman could perhaps be described as a character, an eccentric, an unconventional fellow, an individualist, a nonconformist, and in farming parlance you might even call him a bit of a dag. However, the moniker that sits most happily with him is quirky.
I learn very quickly with Ian there is a story behind most things, so it should come as no surprise when he launches into the story of how he adopted the moniker. At a party one night he was asked by another guest what he did down at Pukaki, and loving any opportunity to mix things up a bit, pokerfaced, Ian explained how he was getting out of sheep and starting to grow broccoli in large glasshouses alongside the lake. ‘Right, right, well good on you,’ was the guest’s response, his face marking his confusion. Shortly after, Ian’s mate Sam was at another party and the same guest was there. When the guest heard Sam was from Pukaki he asked if he knew of this ‘quirky fellow’. Sam instantly knew it was Ian. He took the story home to Ian and the new label stuck.
Ian reckons that some people may think he’s become unconventional in later years – his relatively recent penchant for outrageous shoes and outlandish suits is a case in point, but upon reflection he thinks there were signs of his individualism when he was younger. He was the only boy at Waihi School who brought a pet wild rabbit to boarding. He recalls sneaking carrots out of the dining hall to feed Wiggles and that Wiggles travelled in Ian’s father’s old World War II duffle bag when he travelled home to Pukaki on the Mount Cook bus. There were also his sound recordings. Loving the sounds emanating from any farm vehicle, Ian went around recording his father starting the vehicles and revving them. He enjoyed listening to his recordings at boarding school as well as hiding under the hedges, along State Highway 1, listening to cars as they zoomed past. He developed quite an ability for mimicking them and was called on by school mates to perform. As we sit at his dining room table Ian launches into his impressions of speeding cars and an old Bedford truck starting up.
Ian’s choice of transport was also highly individual. Not many 17-year-olds could attest to choosing to cycle home from boarding school at the end of their schooling, but Ian took it into his head that riding his 10-speed bike home from Christ’s College in Christchurch to Lake Pukaki was a wonderful idea. Modifying his bike’s carrier to accommodate his belongings, he left at 4 am and arrived home at 7 pm. Then after school he settled into farming life, and instead of driving a ute with dog boxes on the back like other young fellas around him, he took to his 1984 Honda Prelude with its pop-up lights, electric sunroof and other gadgets. By the end of his tinkering the dog boxes were on board and the dogs ensconced in something a little sportier than a ute.
It only takes the briefest of looks through the vehicle bays on the station to realise Ian still loves his vehicles, and his enthusiasm for vehicle modification has not abated.
Ian’s predilection for individualism has spread into his sense of style as well. Ian for a time was seen sporting a cheese cutter hat, and in the days of everyone wearing moleskins and Aertex shirts Ian would find other attire. ‘If someone had tapered trousers, I’d have flared trousers.’ In fact, Ian now has a seamstress in Timaru who adorns his jeans with colourful patches, and his friends, Tim and Brooke Black of Timaru shop Tuesday supply him with an array of vibrant suits. His love for all things bright, particularly red, ensures he is never going to be lost in a crowd.
In amongst the suits and an array of splendid shoes which, by the way, are all displayed on their very own Ferris wheel with disco lights and Elvis’ ‘Blue Suede Shoes’ blaring, it’s easy to forget that Ian is in fact a farmer. Ian is the fourth generation of Haymans to farm Tasman Downs Station. Originally purchased by his great-grandfather in 1915, he is ever mindful of the foundation his forbears laid down enabling him to farm the land today. Other than his eight years at boarding schools, Tasman Downs Station has been
Ian’s only home. Situated on the shores of Lake Pukaki with the Southern Alps almost at arm’s reach, and Aoraki/Mount Cook as the station’s sentinel, the 485-hectare station stocks 550 head of cattle and 135 breeding cows, with 200 Angus steers going to Five Star Beef in Ashburton each year. Ian also sows 30–40 hectares a year in oats as a cash crop. It’s largely a one-man operation, although Ian is appreciative of son Archie, home from boarding school for the summer, helping him with the haymaking. A contractor is also employed come baleage time. With no grass growing on the property between May and October, growing feed for his animals is a huge part of Ian’s farming cycle along with the 150 days of feeding out over those colder months.
The long winter months can be particularly harsh in the Mackenzie and it is easy for those living on a station to feel quite isolated, so in 2011 when production scouts for Peter Jackson’s The Hobbit turned up on his doorstep, it was quite the novelty. The scouts found the perfect spot for the filming of the Lake Town scene in the movie on the shores of Lake Pukaki. Ian was warned ‘the travelling circus’ would arrive in November. Right on the due date, 130 trucks and 250 other vehicles with around 650 people descended on the station’s
As we sit at his dining room table Ian launches into his impressions of speeding cars and an old Bedford
truck starting up.
tranquil setting. For six days Tasman Downs was taken over and the usual station comings and goings were controlled by security guards. Ian’s mum, Linda, and his son Archie entered the ranks of the extras and Ian revelled in extra workshop duties; his welding skills were put to good use. He was also kept busy moving fence lines to accommodate trucks, repairing fence posts knocked down by the large trucks, and being out on his tractor to rescue drivers who had skidded off the gravel road heading into the station. Of course, meeting
Peter Jackson and Orlando Bloom added to the excitement. Watching the filming was fascinating and Ian rates the overall experience as ‘being one of the highlights of my life’.
A spin-off from the Hobbit invasion has been the growth of Ian’s Quirky Farm Tours. The location for the filming of the Lake Town scene is on the itinerary of Red Carpet Tours who take diehard Hobbit fans around New Zealand to all the movie’s filming locations. While not wanting to give too much away, suffice to say, Ian loves to startle and surprise his guests on these monthly tours with his politically incorrect, off-the-wall humour. Tours start in the station’s old woolshed which Ian has converted into a small movie theatre. Here guests view the 12-minute clip in The Hobbit of the Lake Town scene. Then it’s out on to the station where guests, often dressed up as Hobbit characters, listen to more of Ian’s quirky commentary and absorb some of New Zealand’s finest scenery. This is all while ensconced on seats from Timaru’s old Majestic picture theatre mounted on a tandem trailer towed by Ian’s father’s old Austin Gipsy. The tours are not exclusive to Hobbit fans – anyone fancying a farm tour with a difference is welcome to contact him. Now with the Alps 2 Ocean Cycle Trail right alongside the lake there is greater opportunity for Ian to widen his tour clientele. Cyclists wanting a break from pedalling can grab the opportunity to rest weary legs and be entertained by Ian on his tour. Just to mix it up a bit Ian also hosts stag and hen nights too, particularly for people who want a party with a difference.
By the time the interview comes to an end Ian has well and truly warmed up – to go with a vehicle analogy, he’s running on all cylinders. There are the impersonations: General Melchett from Blackadder, Benny Hill, Dick Emery, there are jokes and poetry recitations – not exactly Byron or Burns though; instead there is Why Dogs Sniff Bottoms and a poem that somehow manages to incorporate every car brand you can think of. Ian’s own unique sense of humour and fun pervades all that he does, and I’m left thinking that I might just have to go on one of his tours myself.
Ian loves to startle and surprise his guests on these monthly tours with his politically incorrect, off-the-wall humour.