Trio support each other to confront man who indecently assaulted them

As a woman indecently assaulted by a man she trusted struggled to speak, a fellow victim offered encouragement.

‘‘It’s OK... go,’’ one victim said to the other while wrapping their arms around her, their head nestled against her back.

Three people spoke in the Palmerston North District Court yesterday about the nightmares, self-harm and guilt Lander Sanisitou’s actions had created.

Sanisitou, 46, was sentenced to five months’ home detention after earlier pleading guilty to four counts of indecent assault.

He will be monitored by Corrections for a year afterwards to ensure he complies with conditions, such as not having contact with anyone younger than 16 without an approved supervisor present.

Sanisitou, who is known in Manawatū for coaching sports, especially swimming, pleaded guilty after receiving a sentence indication in February.

Stuff has not published the exact relationship between him and the three people who he assaulted to ensure that their lawful right to keep their identities secret is not breached.

The trio were all teenagers when he indecently assaulted them between 2007 and 2014.

Each assault was done after he gave them a hug.

All three victims spoke about how they had battled to overcome the effect of Sanisitou’s offending.

One described the shame that came with what he had done, believing it was their fault and burden to carry.

The legal process meant they had to speak about Sanisitou’s actions, thereby experiencing them again.

‘‘I want to hide and sleep until everything is over.’’

Another said they should not have had to tell their parents what happened to them.

They took up smoking and drinking, and self-harmed, to cope. ‘‘You made me hate my own skin. ‘‘I could feel myself slowly giving up.’’

The third said they suffered severe depression, which medication did not seem to help.

‘‘As much as I would not like to admit what has happened has affected my life, it very much has and still does every day.’’

Defence lawyer Jacinda Younger said Sanisitou felt extreme shame about what he did, to the point where he was expressing suicidal ideation.

He was abused himself as a child and a sad example of how the courts often saw intergenerational abuse.

‘‘It is important he becomes mentally well, he understands his past abuse and how it may be linked, and he does specialist sexual offending counselling,’’ Younger said.

Judge Lance Rowe started his sentencing by acknowledging the victims.

‘‘It takes courage for a victim to report such abuse in the first place,’’ he said.

‘‘It takes courage to see it through. It takes courage to come here and talk about the effects of such abuse.’’

Sanisitou’s offending was personally invasive, created a bad effect on the victims and was done under the premise of an innocent act – a hug.

‘‘When you offered hugs and they were reciprocated ...[ the victims] were effectively placing their trust in you,’’ the judge told him.

‘‘This offending is your doing, your fault and your responsibility to fix.’’

Sanisitou was ordered to pay $2000 to each victim.

The judge said that the payments could only be a token compared with the harm suffered, but could help cover at least some expenses that were incurred due to Sanisitou’s actions.