Fatherless boys need male role models
There’s a major shortage of kindhearted men willing to mentor fatherless boys in South Auckland.
Big Buddy is an organisation that provides a free service matching such boys with responsible male role models.
It’s got about 20 local boys, some of whom have been waiting for more than a year, hoping to be matched with a volunteer.
Chief executive Richard Aston says about 80 per cent of men in New Zealand prisons had no functional father when growing up or no relationship with their father.
‘‘Boys who grow up without a father figure can flounder a bit. They need good men in their lives to reference themselves against.’’
Aston says blokes keen to become a ‘big buddy’ undergo a thorough screening process that includes a police check.
‘‘When we match a man to a boy we’re saying to their mum ‘this man is safe, he’s not a child abuser, he hasn’t got mental health issues, and he’s a goodhearted man’.’’
Nic Heywood is the organisation’s mentoring co-ordinator for South Auckland.
He says big buddies range in age from their 20s to 70s while the boys are aged 7 to 14. Men keen to become mentors don’t need to be parents.
‘‘We’ve had big buddies who didn’t have kids but they have nephews or nieces or coached a children’s sports team,’’ Heywood says.
‘‘They go out [with their little buddy] for two or three hours on the weekend and do stuff.
‘‘It’s a life journey. As the boy travels through his adolescent years and grows, so does the relationship.’’
Heywood says men who have convictions for recent or serious offending would be excluded from becoming a big buddy but unemployment isn’t an automatic barrier.
There’s no requirement for the mentor to have deep pockets.
‘‘Just turn up regularly and do things with the boy,’’ Heywood says. ’’We shy away from asking them to spend money as that’s not what it’s about.’’
Potential big buddies need to be able to make a commitment to mentor a boy for at least a year. They also need a driver’s licence and a vehicle that’s registered and has a current warrant of fitness.
Phone 09 828 1358 or go to bigbuddy.org.nz for more information on the service.