My son’s picky eating drives us nuts

Q: My 5-year-old son is a really picky eater and only wants to eat peanut butter sandwiches and bananas for dinner.

If we try to give him something new, most of the time he won’t even try it and just says ‘‘Yuck. I don’t eat that’’.

He has an 8-year-old sister who isn’t as fussy. But our son’s picky eating is driving us nuts. What can we do? If we try to send him to bed with no dinner he won’t go to sleep but instead comes into our bedroom saying ‘‘I’m hungry’’ so we reluctantly give him peanut butter sandwiches and bananas. We’re fed up with his fussiness and don’t know what to do.

A: We know that some children are picky eaters and that battles over food are best avoided.

Ideally, mealtimes should be pleasant bonding experiences, so bribing, begging, tricking or punishing children when it comes to food, is not a good idea.

Some children are more attuned to the taste, texture and, in particular, to the smell of food, than others.

Bearing all this in mind, you also need to factor in the game plan of a wily 5-year-old.

He may be too young and too tired to stay up and eat a civilised family meal, especially when you try to add something new to the menu or he may be caught up in the drama he’s creating.

If your evening meals are battle zones, then make your family dining experiences Sunday brunches or weekend nights.

Try limiting your son’s snacks between afternoon tea and dinner and then give him an early meal. You might have more luck with him eating if he’s not waiting too long. It’s exasperating when you prepare a nourishing tasty meal and your child says ‘‘Yuck, I don’t eat that’’. That’s his power and his right and as the adult, you have to refrain from having your own tantrum, but I do understand your frustration. Having children go to bed, then wander out with the ‘‘I’m hungry’’ line really tried my patience, too. I remember how it used to make me feel as if I was trapped in a Groundhog Day as one boy after another came out to join the first snacker.

We had a rule – which I’m teased mercilessly about now – that if they got up to eat again, the only option was dead bread (I think my logic was that bread with no spread reduced further sugar intake).

This may seem ridiculous but eventually only the genuinely hungry bothered to get up for such a boring offering.

It’s exasperating when you prepare a nourishing tasty meal and your child says ‘Yuck, I don’t eat that’.

Mary-anne Scott has raised four boys and written three novels for young adults, all of which have been shortlisted for the NZ Book awards for children and young adults. As one of seven sisters, there aren’t many parenting problems she hasn’t talked over.

Please note that Mary-anne is not a trained counsellor. Her advice is not intended to replace that of a professional counsellor or psychologist.

To send Mary-anne a question, email life.style@stuff.co.nz with Dear Mary-anne in the subject line.

Limit snacks before dinner to try to get your son to eat his food.