Formulaic Grindelwald lacks magic

Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald. (M, 134 mins) Directed by David Yates Reviewed by It starts thunderously well, with the heinous wizard Gellert Grindelwald staging a breakout from the New York City headquarters of the American Department of Magic, located, as it surely would be, in the very top floors of the Chrysler Building.

Via an enchanted and vaguely demonic flying stagecoach, Grindelwald makes his way to Paris, where Credence Barebone (Ezra Miller) – the wizardish teen we met in Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them –is alive and much in need of his dark mentorship. Opposing Grindelwald (Johnny Depp) in his nefarious scheme are our hero Newt Scamander (Eddie Redmayne), Tina Goldstein (Katherine Waterston), the young Albus Dumbledore (Jude Law), and comic-relief Jacob Kowalski (Dan Fogler).

With the cast in place, the broad intentions of the story set in motion and an over-two hour running time to play with, writer JK Rowling and director David Yates then get down to the real purpose of The Crimes of Grindelwald: giving the fans for whom seven movies were not enough, another long, warm wallow in the Harry Potter universe.

There are a few lengthy returns to Hogwarts, a few familiar names and backstories inserted to reward the faithful, and a return to the indulgent pacing and dialogue-dependent style that occasionally left a few of the Potter films intermittently dead in the water. Rowling loves to give her fanbase more of what they want.

So what seemed interminable to me will quite possibly be absolute bliss to anyone who truly cares.

Numerous sub-plots, including one hinting at a youthful romance between two lead characters, come and go. Any of them could quite possibly yield a film of their own. On the screen, The Crimes of Grindelwald is exactly as spectacular as we expect a film in the Potter universe to be.

This franchise has always embraced sheer spectacle and visual invention as an emblematic part of its make-up, and Grindelwald more than delivers. Every scene is a set-piece. A simple conversation can only take place inside a shapeshifting room, full of delightful but pointless special effects and CGI creatures wandering around. Grindelwald might be the first film I’ve ever seen in which I’m sure there was some CGI present in every single frame. Which almost seems a shame, considering how quickly computer-generated effects date. Have you watched Avatar (2009) on an HD TV lately? It looks about as convincing as an episode of Scooby-Doo.

At their heart, the Potter films have always been about plucky individuals taking on soulless bureaucrats and eventually winning.

Am I the only person who finds it ironic that these stories can only apparently be told by sticking rigidly to a recipe, with every pixel in its place and the idea of one individual being able to change any of it being faintly ridiculous? For a fable about the power of love and improvisation to overcome anything, these films seem a little formulaic and predetermined.

Redmayne is still superb as Newt. He’s likeable, goofy and brave in a way that reminds me of David Tennant-era Doctor Who. The rest of the returning cast are all as wellchosen as ever. A cameo from Brontis Jodorowsky (son of The Holy Mountain director Alejandro) delighted me at least, though I can’t speak for the rest of the audience.

We only glimpsed Depp as Grindelwald in Fantastic Beasts, but obviously he’s a major player here. If Depp’s Captain Jack Sparrow from Pirates of the Caribbean was modelled on 1990s Keith Richards, then he is explicitly channelling David Bowie, circa 1983 here so shamelessly I was practically expecting a quick rendition of Let’s Dance.

The voice, the mismatched eyes and the shocked white quiff are all in place, as is that brand of displaced roguishness Bowie once made his own.

In the very last moments, as Rowling finally pulls back the curtain and shows us the rise-ofnationalistic-fascism parable at the film’s heart, Depp reminds us briefly what a charismatic and formidable actor he can be.

If you’re a true fan, these are the moments you live for. For the rest of us, maybe getting there a bit quicker and with fewer diversions would have been appreciated.

Johnny Depp seems to be channelling 1980s-era David Bowie in his role as Grindelwald.