The changing face of funerals

World-wide, the coronavirus isn’t only changing the way we live, it’s also changing what happens when we die. The scaled-down funeral for the Duke of Edinburgh is a good example. Here in New Zealand, we’ve had numbers limited for gatherings, and having family members stuck overseas has impacted on traditional funeral arrangements too. Numerous ‘life celebrations’ are being held weeks or even months after a person’s death, and private funerals are increasing. Kiwis are being confronted with ‘endof-life’ issues more frequently than ever before.

While chatting about your funeral and what you want to happen after you’re gone mightn’t be your favourite conversation, it will reduce the stress for those left behind when they know your wishes and where all your important papers are. And if you really can’t discuss these things, why not write them down? Then, label and seal the envelope, give it to your lawyer, pop it somewhere your family will look, or give it to a trusted friend.

So what should you put in the envelope?

A copy of your will, or where it is held. Sadly, about four in ten adult New Zealanders don’t have a will, meaning about 1500 people die without one each year. This is called ‘dying intestate’. The government then decides what happens to your assets according to a specific formula, which mightn’t be what you want.

A will usually names the person/s you’ve chosen to administer your estate, (the executor), any directions for funeral arrangements or organ donations, says who will inherit things, and arrangements for your children. While simple ‘Will Kits’ are available on-line, you should always have a lawyer or Public Trust check things, because there are many loopholes even with simple estates. Your signature on a will must be witnessed by two people, who don’t need to read the document. They’re just verifying they saw you sign it.

You could also make a list of personal items not mentioned in your will, but which you wish to gift to specific people, a list of people or organisations (with contact details) to be notified of your death, any subscriptions or on-line accounts to cancel (Facebook, email etc) and details of important documents like insurance policies, mortgages, and bank accounts. You could also request things you want included – or don’t want included! – at your funeral. Free booklets from funeral homes have helpful suggestions, and facts your family will need to know, like your birth details, parents’ full names, and so on.

While TV programmes like The Casketeers have helped demystify an undertaker’s role, funerals and associated costs vary greatly. A ‘traditional’ NZ funeral is estimated at $10,000, but can be reduced by opting out of some standard expenses. For example, choosing a simple casket or eco-option, doing your own flowers, using your own vehicle, and asking guests to bring a plate. Remember you’re buying a service. Why not shop around now to learn about your options and view an itemised list so you know the current cost of things? And if you’re still worried about funeral expenses, see if you’re eligible for a funeral grant from Work and Income, ACC (accidental death) or Veterans Affairs.

Our caring CAB volunteers are happy to have a chat, answer your questions and spend time helping you understand different options and legal requirements, and discussing informal ways you can save your family a whole lot of extra stress.

Citizens Advice Bureau Marlborough, Marlborough Community Centre, 25 Alfred St Blenheim. Ph 03 578 4272, O800 367 222 email: marlborough@cab.org.nz; www.cab.org.nz

123RF Kiwis are being confronted with ‘end-of-life’ issues more frequently than ever before.