Aroha: I tried to propose but she fell into a river

Ben Leggett, 44, is the founder/distiller of Marlborough’s award-winning Roots Dry Gin and a certified spirits lecturer at the NZ School of Wine & Spirits. He’s married to Lou Leggett, 39, co-owner/manager of the Roots Gin Shack & Tasting Room. The couple

BEN:

I’m from Marlborough. As a student I did a year’s exchange to Argentina, which opened my eyes to the world. I moved to France to work in adventure tourism and then the UK, where I lived for 14 years.

I met Lou in 2004 when she worked for me at a cocktail bar in Brighton. She’s gorgeous but there was nothing romantic, she was just an excellent employee. When Lou left for another job we lost touch but I tracked her down when I needed staff at another venue. I’d recently been dumped by my first love and, to be honest, Lou was a rebound relationship. I couldn’t emotionally commit so she dumped me.

And then I did that typical male “whathave-I-done” thing? Lou started dating other people, including my chef. One night I got drunk and wrote her a love letter. The next day I was mortified, especially when Lou said, I like your friendship but I’m with someone else and we’re never going to happen. She let me down so nicely I wanted to be with her even more.

We eventually got back together but then Lou went to France to work and the relationship didn’t make it.

The third time we got together we were older and knew ourselves better. We’ve been together ever since.

I proposed when we came back to New Zealand for a year’s break in 2015. I’d had a ring made in Brighton and carried it for months before I proposed. I organised an epic trip to Nelson Lakes National Park but the weather was crap, Lou fell into a river, had an enormous blister and we had to do a four-hour detour so by the time we got back, she was crying.

That night, I took her out for a nice meal and when we got back to the hotel and she was in the bath I turned off the light and got down on one knee. Lou was like, what are you doing you dick? I started crying like a sook and she said yes but the whole thing was so awkward that we went to bed without saying much.

Lou is just freaking lovely. People can’t imagine what angry Lou would possibly look like. She hasn’t got a bad word to say about anyone. She’s generous and honest, making her my best critic and the perfect sounding board.

The reason we kept coming back together is because we’ve always clicked. I feel like I’m very, very lucky to still have that strong connection and loving adoration for Lou. Life is tough with two businesses and young kids but that connection is what makes us work.

LOU:

I was born and raised in Herefordshire. At 18 I left for Brighton University. I fell into hospo while studying hotel management.

I was single when I met Ben. I do like a strong jawline in a man, but at the time I was more into blonde surfer types. Ben was a good looking man and he’s actually got better looking as he gets older, which feels unfair. But at the time, he was my boss so I didn’t see him in a romantic light.

When we worked together the second time Ben had had his heart broken by a fiery Welsh woman so I was very much his rebound girl. We were on and off for a few years and there were other partners in-between. When I got back from working in France we had some conversations that if we were going to give it another go, we were going to have to take it seriously this time. We were working for sister companies and were at an event in Cannes when I couldn’t get into my accommodation, so I called Ben in a panic and ended up staying with him. We moved in together six months later.

We always worked well together in the UK and he’s a lovely boss, but when Ben started the distillery in 2019, I wasn’t totally convinced that we should work together again, because it’s nice to come home and talk about something other than work. I also wasn’t sure whether we’d butt heads because we both like to be in charge and now that it’s our business, there’s more pressure on how we feel things should be done.

I opened the Gin Shack in November and it’s been a pleasant affirmation of how it can work if we stay in our own lanes.

In 2020 Ben’s father died and four months later Toby got pneumonia and ended up in ICU in Christchurch and Auckland. Add Covid onto that, and I thought the cracks would show in our relationship. But Ben stepped up for our family and we came out of it stronger.

Ben’s greatest asset is his positivity and energy. He’s genuinely enthusiastic about life and bounds out of bed at 6am, which can be problematic for me because I’m not a morning person. Ben also has a well tuned moral code and wants to treat everyone well ... an attractive quality.

We do wind each other up and our lives are not some kind of perfect Stepford Wife domestic bliss. But we genuinely like and trust each other. There’s also an underlying understanding that both of us will compromise to make the other person ha*ppy.

SUPPLIED “There’s an underlying understanding that both of us will compromise to make the other person happy.”