It’s not about morals, it’s jealousy and misogyny

interesting parts of swimsuit slut-shaming.

Namely the fact that it’s always women who do it, and they almost always justify it by saying that they’re protecting their kids. In Harvie-salter’s case, it was the mothers who were ‘‘concerned’’ that the bikini wasn’t ‘‘appropriate’’ for such a public pool. The implication being that their kids are at great peril from the life-endangering risks of seeing a woman in a (frankly quite vanilla) bikini.

Honestly, this is BS. You’re not worried that bikinis pose a moral threat to your family. You’re just a slut-shamer.

Let’s apply the old ‘‘is this happening to men?’’ test. Men have been wearing Speedos at the pools for years. And while no-one likes the stretchy budgie smotherers, concerned mothers do not go up to these men and suggest they change. No, concerned mothers only act when it’s women in bikinis. That suggests it’s not the moral fibre of the nation they’re concerned about, it’s continuing this country’s well-established slut-shaming habit.

I’ve written before about how it’s women who publicly do this to other women. (Unlike online, where it’s men who are the most virulent, in public it’s always the woman who yells, ‘‘Slut!’’ at you when you walk past.) And how, on the countless times it’s happened to me on the street, it’s just been me, her and some naked internalised misogyny. No kids in sight. Swimsuit shaming is just the extension of this depressing habit, dressed up slightly in the age-old ‘‘think of the children’’ ruse to make the shamer feel better.

And if you really want to think of the children, I’m not even convinced there’s a great threat to them anyway. If kids are under 10, they don’t even notice bikinis exist, let alone their sexualised connotations. You could be wearing a bikini made of barbed wire and banana peel and they’d still be more interested in the inflatable unicorn pool toy.

A teenage girl might notice, but that’s really good, given they’re searching for cues on how to be a happy, well-rounded adult. If they see a woman in a bikini it’s actually a great chance to see a woman who is comfortable in her skin. Not lugging around the huge amount of internalised body hatred most of us are. And teenage boys will notice chicks in bikinis, but so what? If you really want to get mad about their moral wellbeing, rage at internet porn.

No, ultimately, ‘‘concerned’’ mothers are just projecting their own mix of insecurity, jealousy, internalised misogyny and social conservatism on to others. It’s not ‘‘for the children’’ and it’s definitely not OK.

It’s so depressing that we are so ready to heap shame and scorn on other women. Haven’t we got enough of that already from everyone else?