01— In all the murk of politics, isn’t it kind of refreshing that Jami-Lee’s hair is so transparent? 02—“Brutal”… You do realise that sex with a National MP is more often “sad”, “disappointing” or “a fiasco”? 03— How many non-event backbenchers are secretly envious of “fucking useless” Maureen’s suddenly improved name recognition? 04— You’re not taping this, are you? 05— If one Chinese equals one Filipino and two Chinese are more valuable than two Indians, shouldn’t someone have rung the Race Relations Commissioner already? 06— Or just ordered pizza instead? 07— The slimmed-down Paula is actually quite the hottie, isn’t she? 08— But still ugly on the inside? 09— Bought a knock-off Mongrel Mob shirt yet? 10— Or are the Black Power colours more “2019”? 11— Actually, that King Cobra logo is pretty on-fleek, isn’t it? 12—“Deer milk hits the spot at New Zealand food awards”: Auckland Zoo, your move? 13— If he’s got you rooting for Owen Glenn, you really do hate Eric Watson, don’t you? 14— Chipping your cat, or just letting it take its chances with an Auckland Council euthanasia squad? 15— They do have nine lives, right? 16—“Aotea Centre closed for refurb”: Secretly hoping it goes like the Palace Hotel makeover? 17— If John Tamihere runs for mayor, will he get any front-bum votes? 18— Been run over by an electric scooter yet? 19— Isn’t it comforting that they’re no-emission fractures? 20— Has the tabloid Sunday Star-Times just lost the all-important I-need-something-to-wrap-broken-glass-in readership?