20 Ques­tions

Metro Magazine NZ - - Letters -

01— In all the murk of pol­i­tics, isn’t it kind of re­fresh­ing that Jami-Lee’s hair is so trans­par­ent? 02—“Bru­tal”… You do re­alise that sex with a Na­tional MP is more of­ten “sad”, “dis­ap­point­ing” or “a fi­asco”? 03— How many non-event back­benchers are se­cretly en­vi­ous of “fuck­ing use­less” Mau­reen’s sud­denly im­proved name recog­ni­tion? 04— You’re not tap­ing this, are you? 05— If one Chi­nese equals one Filipino and two Chi­nese are more valu­able than two In­di­ans, shouldn’t some­one have rung the Race Re­la­tions Com­mis­sioner al­ready? 06— Or just or­dered pizza in­stead? 07— The slimmed-down Paula is ac­tu­ally quite the hot­tie, isn’t she? 08— But still ugly on the in­side? 09— Bought a knock-off Mon­grel Mob shirt yet? 10— Or are the Black Power colours more “2019”? 11— Ac­tu­ally, that King Cobra logo is pretty on-fleek, isn’t it? 12—“Deer milk hits the spot at New Zealand food awards”: Auck­land Zoo, your move? 13— If he’s got you root­ing for Owen Glenn, you re­ally do hate Eric Wat­son, don’t you? 14— Chip­ping your cat, or just let­ting it take its chances with an Auck­land Coun­cil eu­thana­sia squad? 15— They do have nine lives, right? 16—“Aotea Cen­tre closed for re­furb”: Se­cretly hop­ing it goes like the Palace Ho­tel makeover? 17— If John Tami­here runs for mayor, will he get any front-bum votes? 18— Been run over by an elec­tric scooter yet? 19— Isn’t it com­fort­ing that they’re no-emis­sion frac­tures? 20— Has the tabloid Sun­day Star-Times just lost the all-im­por­tant I-need-some­thing-to-wrap-bro­ken-glass-in read­er­ship?

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