CARO LLEWELLYN
TEN YEARS AGO, CARO LLEWELLYN WAS RUNNING WHEN SHE LOST SENSATION IN HER LEGS. TWO DAYS LATER, SHE RECEIVED A DIAGNOSIS OF MULTIPLE SCLEROSIS. SHE KNEW WHAT LIFE IN A WHEELCHAIR LOOKED LIKE, AS HER FATHER WAS WHEELCHAIR- BOUND AFTER CONTRACTING POLIO. IN
DIVING INTO GLASS ( PENGUIN), CARO SHARES HER STORY.
What was your experience writing a memoir?
Writing Diving into Glass was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done, which seems counter-intuitive, as you’d think simply telling the story of what actually happened would be easy. But memoir – or at least my experience of writing memoir – was surprisingly challenging because truth is complicated and memory is slippery. Also, writing about a lifechanging moment when it’s happening to you is great for raw emotion, but that kind of unfettered feeling doesn’t necessarily make for good reading. It took time for me to make sense of what was happening and to work out the bigger picture and its meaning to my life.
How did it differ from your previous work?
My three previous books were really telling other people’s stories – which is relatively easy, because there’s not so much personally at stake. It took me time to pluck up the courage to tell my own story.
Why is it important that you tell your story?
For a long time the book was called Chair, and it focused on my father’s story of contracting polio at a young age and the courage it took for him to demand to be seen and heard as a disabled person, when society wanted people who were different to be hidden away. My father’s story is inspiring and he is still the very big focus of the book – but when I was faced with my own physical challenges after being diagnosed with MS, I had to draw those threads together and untangle how his disability was clouding what was happening to me.
What would you like people to take from your story?
Hope and a greater appreciation for every single day, no matter its challenges. It is very easy to forget how absolutely astounding and magical it is to be able to do something as simple as to walk. One foot in front of another is not anything to be taken for granted.
What does life feel like for you now?
Of course, there are everyday challenges living with a disease like MS, but everyone’s life has challenges. They may not be physical like mine, but no- one gets out free from adversity of one kind or another. I might walk funny, but I have a beautiful son, wonderful family and friends, and a job as a director at Museums Victoria where no- one blinks an eye when I turn up to meetings riding my big red trike.