RUNNING ON EMPTY
Feeling unmotivated, unfulfilled, exhausted, or unenthusiastic about your life? You’re not alone – this ‘loss of zest’ is all too common in today’s modern world. But what can you do about it?
Feeling unmotivated and unenthusiastic about your life? You’re not alone – this ‘loss of zest’ is all too common in today’s modern world. But what can you do about it?
My day job as a clinical psychologist involves a relatively repetitive task. Whether I’m sitting with an overburdened student, a mum trying to find an ideal work-life balance, or a businessperson who’s been burning the candle at both ends, my first meeting with a new client generally involves the same line of enquiry – although the answers are unique to the individual.
The phenomenon I’ve come to ask about in these meetings is ‘zest’: a word that to me describes having the energy and enthusiasm to live a fulfilling life. To not just survive, but really thrive.
The word first came up as I found that people were describing changes in their drive that didn’t exactly meet the criteria for what we refer to in Western psychology as depression. They noticed similar troubles – such as loss of energy and motivation, loss of enjoyment from previously pleasurable activities, and impairment to their brain functioning and sleep. But the defining criteria for depression (like a persistent low mood, feelings of worthlessness or guilt, and hopelessness or suicidal thinking) were notably absent. Instead, the concerns I kept hearing about had one thing in common – chronic stress.
The next time someone was telling me about having lost enthusiasm for their life, I fell onto the word ‘zest’, and that person resonated strongly with it – there was a connection with having “lost their zest”.
If we look back at the original use of the word zest, it’s the bright outer part of any citrus fruit – the part with all the colour and flavour. It would not be the same fruit without this defining part. So what does it mean to be human if your zest and vitality have eroded?
People in this state drag themselves through each day feeling ‘tired but wired’. Then at bedtime they sleep poorly and wake unrefreshed, to do it all again the next day. They lack meaning and purpose, feel trapped by their life, and are unsure of what the path out looks like. Sometimes their experience began with a specific event – such as a work deadline or a family stressor – but more commonly there was a creeping nature to these changes over months or years.
There are myriad forms of chronic stress, which can involve grief and loss, addictions, neglect, trauma, living with anxiety, insecure attachment histories, and difficulties in relationships. These factors provide an added layer and may require extra assistance – but what I see most often regarding a loss of zest is stress arising from the rat race of modern society. This creeping stress involves a noxious relationship with ‘busyness’ as we juggle work, family and social commitments – fuelled by processed foods and caffeine – while trying to numb the effects of all this with alcohol, aimless scrolling through social media feeds, and TV marathons.
When we couple this picture with insufficient sleep, physical activity, time in nature and intimate connections to offset the stressors, the balance will tip. There will be a disconnect from people, purpose and planet – and therefore from what the point of living is.
Given all this, it’s probably not surprising that people are feeling lost, exhausted and unfulfilled. We must ask – with so many of us experiencing this zest-less state (sometimes referred to as burnout, adrenal fatigue, or HPA axis dysfunction), is it us that are broken? Or is the modern environment we find ourselves in simply not fit for purpose? Maybe it needs to change to suit us, rather than the other way around.
UNDERSTANDING STRESS
To understand our stress, we can turn to basic human physiology. The human stress response was not designed to be constantly switched on. Rather, it is an emergency response designed to switch on and off for our survival in the face of a threat (like a lion chasing you).
This is the first stage of three researched by neuroendocrinologist Dr Bruce McEwen: alarm, endurance, and exhaustion. In the alarm stage – often called the fight or flight response – the body readies itself to respond to a threat through taking action, running away, freezing, or pretending to be dead (whichever it deems best at that time). All going well, the threat passes, we complete the stress cycle, and calmness resumes. The thing is, we don’t often find lions running around in today’s society, but we still have the physiology designed to anticipate and respond to threats. Our modern ‘threats’ are our busy schedules and personal worries, but our body isn’t programmed to know the difference. So we’re all constantly bombarded with these little threats, our alarm stage is constantly activated – and when it is unable to switch off, this takes us into endurance.
In endurance mode, you are pushing through the stress, and your body rises to the challenge by relying on its reserves – vitamins, hormones, neurotransmitters, and your immune system are all involved. You may be juggling work, deadlines, family,
study, commuting, financial pressure, high expectations of yourself, and a whole host of difficult thoughts and emotions. It is in this stage that you might hear a protective alarm (such as tiredness, insomnia, irritability, anxiety and other health issues). But many override this to push through.
HOW EXHAUSTING
Humans who stay in the endurance stage for too long may shift into the end stage – exhaustion. This is your body saying that if you won’t choose to rest, you will be forced to do so.
This is a protective response, as chronically elevated stress is actually destructive to the brain, and decreases immune function. The brain’s amygdala and hippocampus (your emotion and memory centres, respectively) can swell and atrophy. It is common to develop immune-related issues such as allergies, and to be particularly susceptible to viruses and infections.
The exhaustion stage is commonly diagnosed as depression, but it could be re-framed as an enforced period of rest and repair – motivating people to change their lives for the better. People often teeter between endurance and exhaustion and this is when depression medications are prescribed.
This brings us to the brain. Your brain’s reward centre plays a big role in losing zest. Dopamine (a rewardfocused neurotransmitter) is required for your sense of drive, passion, and ability to be enthused by things like meaningful work and creative pursuits. But repeatedly doing addictive things stimulates the dopamine-firing reward pathway, offering a shortcut to reward by flooding the brain with dopamine. This can sabotage your ability to feel happy or satisfied, as you’re constantly seeking the next dopamine hit rather than being able to relax and feel content in the present moment. Checking device notifications fires a dopamine response, and is just one example of an insidious modern drain on your reward pathways.
Enduring constant stress and poor sleep also drives cravings for habitual rewarding behaviour, making it hard for us to resist urges. And triggers to these habitual behaviours surround us in the 21st century, via advertising and the internet. We have 24/7 access to sugar, alcohol, shopping, working, social media and porn – which by their very design cue you to crave the next hit. It’s a vicious cycle that we simply weren’t exposed to at earlier times in history, before our technologically changing environment.
The content/happy pathway in the brain is separate from the reward pathway, but they do overlap and interact. Contentment is more closely associated with serotonin – another neurotransmitter, often linked with depression and depression medications. Serotonin is required throughout the brain, but the ingredients needed to make serotonin compete with those needed to make dopamine. If you’re constantly firing off dopamine, you can sabotage serotonin production. We must quiet this dopamine-seeking system to come back to contentment.
For all of its negative effects, I have come to understand that losing zest has its upside. It can spark us to stop the hustle of endurance, or to rise from the depths of exhaustion. But the question is: how?
“Once your body is in a calm state, this opens a window to look at your life and consider change.”
The answer starts with creating the opposite of chronic stress – to calm your autonomic nervous system, which controls the fight or flight stress response, so that your body feels safe and can relax. Once your body is in this calm state, this opens up a window to look at your life and consider a change.
Re-frame your body’s experience as a helpful alert about what you want and need. Carve out time to reflect and identify what’s causing you stress. You could write a list, talk it over with a friend, bounce it off a therapist, or keep a record of how you feel and what makes it better or worse. You could consider your values – how do you want your life to be? Values are the motivation for change; they are your personal ‘why’.
There are also a multitude of daily practices that are like a jigsaw puzzle of wellness. Whatever pieces you can put into place start to put the picture together, and I advise to simply begin wherever feels possible.
Support a move from the stress response into the relaxation response every day. Using breath work is a good place to start, as breathing is one of the few ways you can switch on your body’s relaxation response – known as the parasympathetic mode. This sends a message of safety to your body, so you can physically recover, digest food well and absorb nutrients, engage in pleasurable activities, and feel content and available for deep connection with others. Yin yoga and walking are other excellent methods to ease your body’s stress and move you towards greater clarity and calmness.
NOURISH BODY & SOUL
You should also eat well, to nourish your nervous system with optimal proteins, healthy fats, and complex carbohydrates so the ingredients for your reward and energy systems are abundant. Boost your intake of fruit, vegetables, nuts, seeds and free-range animal products; and eat fewer bodystressing foods like processed snacks, refined sugar, caffeine, and alcohol. Micronutrients that are commonly depleted in chronic stress include all the B vitamins, iron (particularly for women), zinc and magnesium.
Sleep restores your mind and body – and how you live today prepares you for sleep tonight. This starts with exposing yourself to sunlight early in the morning, and having a movement regime. Being able to unwind in the evening is also vital – create a bedtime routine that you find relaxing, and be in bed at a time that allows for enough sleep (eight hours is optimal for most). A magnesium supplement can help you get into a deep sleep, while caffeine and alcohol are sleep disruptors.
Losing zest can motivate radical shifts that might not have occurred otherwise. You can gain a far deeper sense of satisfaction and connection with yourself – as well as the people and experiences that matter the most to you. Calm your mind and body to dismantle the unquenchable search for reward; and nourish yourself with food, sleep, movement and personal connection. From this place, you may rediscover what contentedness feels like, and have zest in abundance.