LETTER OF THE MONTH

Congratulations MiNDFOOD on yet another insightful feature in ‘Feeling the Past on Repeat’ (January/February). You will never know how much articles like this mean to survivors like me.

It is so important complex PTSD be recognised as a distinct diagnosis. Repetitive trauma, multiple traumas and harm from a trusted caregiver can have long-term effects not typical of regular PTSD.

I was sexually abused throughout my childhood (from when I was a toddler) by four abusers. I was in a situation where I couldn’t escape. Then I was raped as a teenager. Then I was in an abusive marriage for 17 years.

What makes it hard to ‘get on with your life’ is that when you’re abused from a very young age, you learn ways of coping that stay with you into adulthood and can lead to your being revictimised.

I learned as a tiny child that complying was my safest option. I learned never to tell. I learned to dissociate when it was too hard to bear what was being done to me.

Often survivors are blamed rather than helped because they are seen as somehow responsible when they fall victim to yet another abuser. What helped me was expert care from a professional who took the time to care, to listen and to gain my trust. Feeling believed – and believed in – had a major impact. Once I recognised my vulnerability, I was more able to avoid situations where I might be harmed.

One of the worst things about long-term chronic abuse is the lack of self-worth. Having that rebuilt takes time and patience.

While I am still hypervigilant and anxious, I live a very full satisfying life helping others who have experienced some of the things I’ve been through.