Brides­maid - Do or Don’t I?

My Wedding - - BRIDESMAIDS - By Erika Un­be­haun

Most brides­maids are se­lected be­cause they have a close friend­ship or fam­ily con­nec­tion with the bride. Dare I say it, I have no­ticed some brides­maids are se­lected purely for their out­stand­ing or­gan­i­sa­tional skills and au­thor­i­ta­tive lead­er­ship be­cause the bride knows she will per­form her du­ties and act the per­fect brides­maid. If you've been asked to take a role in the wed­ding party, make sure you are emo­tion­ally and fi­nan­cially avail­able for it. Do you have the time for all the pre-wed­ding en­gage­ments, get-to­geth­ers and wed­ding plan­ning? Do you have the ex­tra fi­nances to pay for the Hen's night, your dress, shoes, ac­ces­sories, and ho­tel if re­quired?

Over the years I've picked up some help­ful brides­maids dos and don'ts. If you're a brides­maid in wait­ing, read the be­low be­fore say­ing “I will”. Do: Do make sure you're up for the job emo­tion­ally and fi­nan­cially. Less dam­age will be done to your friend­ship if you kindly de­cline a brides­maid re­quest rather than ac­cept­ing and not liv­ing up to the re­spon­si­bil­i­ties. Do: Check in with the bride ev­ery month by giv­ing her a call and ask­ing how you can help. This may seem te­dious and un­nerv­ing as to what will hap­pen next, but most of the time the bride is just look­ing for emo­tional sup­port and that phone call will mean the world to her. Do: On the wed­ding day you need to look af­ter the bride to make sure she's a hap­pier ver­sion of her­self. Get her a drink if her glass is empty, tell her when she needs a new coat of lip­stick, and re­place her Louboutins with a pair of flip flops when her feet start to ache. Do: Check your emo­tions at the door. If the bride does some­thing that up­sets you, you need to let it go. The bride will be ex­tremely emo­tional on the wed­ding day and a fight with her best friend would be seen as the start of a bad day. Don’t: Don't dis­ap­pear through­out the plan­ning process, and es­pe­cially on the wed­ding day. You've ac­cepted a sup­port­ing role so you need to live up to it. Don’t: Don't get too ine­bri­ated on the wed­ding day. You are there to rep­re­sent the bride and her fam­ily. Like­wise, don't com­plain or bad­mouth any­one on the day. Smile for the cam­era! I've wit­nessed far too many brides­maids con­sume an ex­ces­sive amount of al­co­hol and ig­nore all brides­maid re­spon­si­bil­i­ties on the day. Don’t: Don't as­sume the type of party your bride wants for her Hen's night. Give her var­i­ous sug­ges­tions then in­volve her in the plan­ning. Don’t: Don't make the day about you. As ex­cit­ing as it is to look glamorous and make a grand en­trance, you must re­mem­ber that the wed­ding day is about your friend and the cel­e­bra­tion of her mar­riage. Wed­ding Co­or­di­na­tor Erika Un­be­haun has a de­gree in in­ter­na­tional wed­ding plan­ning which gives her a great in­sight and knowl­edge into wed­ding cul­tures and tra­di­tions around the globe. She's worked in the US and the UK as is now based in Lon­don where her fo­cus is lux­ury wed­ding plan­ning. www.flut­ter­fly­

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