Ex-England hooker admits to ‘suicide watch’
Steve Thompson – a World Cup winner with England in 2003 – admits he considered suicide recently since struggling with dementia and now wishes he had never played rugby.
The 43-year-old former hooker is among a group of ex-players taking legal action against rugby authorities for alleged negligence over concussion treatments during their careers.
Thompson was diagnosed with early onset dementia in 2020 and now says he can’t remember the World Cup final win over the Wallabies in Sydney.
He admitted in a candid interview with the Daily Mail last week that he was ‘‘put on suicide watch a little while back’’.
‘‘A few weeks ago, I was at the [railway] station in a state. ‘‘This day I just thought: ‘F... it.’ There’s a fast train that goes through without stopping. It actually passed through before I got there. I sat on the next one and just bawled my eyes out. I sometimes find myself thinking the least selfish thing to do is just to kill myself. That’s what this can do to me.’’
Thompson said he was ‘‘more scared of the highs than the lows’’.
‘‘When I’m high, I feel brilliant and then suddenly I have to let everyone down because I can’t do what I have promised. It is just ... hard.
‘‘I’ll say it again, I wish I never played rugby.’’
Thompson, who played almost 200 games for the Northampton Saints, said he can ‘‘barely remember anything’’ of his professional rugby career, which included 73 caps for England and three for the British and Irish Lions.
‘‘World Cup final, meeting the queen to get an MBE, my shirt presentation or the Lions – gone.
‘‘I’d give it all up in an instant if I knew then what I know now.’’
Thompson said he did not hate rugby, but he just wants ‘‘things to change’’.
‘‘Rugby needs to understand the problem and stop lying about it. There is a crisis. I’m f...d. But this is for the sake of the next guy.’’