Best ways to help your child
If you want your child to thrive at school, you need to get involved from early on, writes Alwyn Poole.
It is well known that the New Zealand education system is under huge stress and, with exceptions, under-performing. For decile 1-3 schools, full attendance is around 40% and 2021 NCEA results saw not only a decrease in overall performance but ever-widening gaps. This worries a lot of parents.
The very best thing about the Tomorrow’s Schools system is that much of the power resides with parents. This is appropriate given they pay for the system, and it is their children enduring it. If a parent wants the school their child goes to to thrive, a lot of responsibility lies with them.
The second thing is that there have been huge changes to our understanding of critical developmental stages, methods and activities that work. Many of these are homebased and rely on the parent(s) being the first/best teacher and staying deeply interested and engaged throughout the child’s education – regardless of their own educational background.
Wherever your child is at now there are ways to improve things, but let’s start at the beginning.
The first three years are crucial to the brain development of a child. They must feel safe and nurtured. They must be stimulated through massive amounts of words and conversations. Good music, books being read out loud, trips to the park and the beach, interactions with other children.
I hear too many parents say they cannot wait for their child to start school, so they can learn to read. That is their job, and then the school can build on it. From as soon as they can sit up and look in the right direction, read to your child. Don’t worry about ‘‘phonetics’’ of ‘‘whole language’’; just read and encourage them to do the same. Have paper, pens and crayons everywhere.
Once they start school, be sure to be involved. Go to the school as often as you can. Talk to the teachers. Sit in on a class. Don’t be put off by being called a ‘‘helicopter parent’’. The school belongs to you.
Sometimes go to board of trustee meetings and get to know the heartbeat of the school. Be supportive and help where you can. At every level of schooling be sure that you know what is being taught. If you can’t do the maths to help with homework, don’t say, ‘‘this is so different to my day’’ or ‘‘maths was never really my thing’’ or ‘‘when will you use this in the real world?’’
As your child moves to high school, find out all you can about the performance of the school. If the results are good, find out how best to support your child in their pathway.
Understand NCEA (including the 2023 changes) and the very important pathway to University Entrance as a top qualification, regardless of an intent to study for a degree.
Make sure your child goes to school every day, and talk to them about being positive and engaged. Keep visiting the school, and understand its culture. At home have a good place set up for homework and study and have very good device rules.
If you research the school and the qualifications results are not good, or there are worries with things like attendance, behaviour and retention, don’t be passive. Advocate for your child, and seek improvement. Be persistent and don’t accept excuses or mediocrity. Your child’s future depends on it. Be constantly supportive and, if they are struggling, seek help and don’t quit until you find it.
Too many parents are waiting for the government and ministry to improve things and have become passive. Regardless of your education background, ethnicity, wealth, connectivity or personality, if you are a parent then you can see your child through to being in a position to make good choices going into adulthood. When it is too tough for you, reach out to others and even hit the streets demanding better. Change is your responsibility and you have the power.