‘If you really knewme...’
Teacher Elenor Aleksich knew she had to act when she realised a girl in her class at primary school was routinely bullied.
Excluded and racially abused by peers, the 11-year-old had food thrown at her and was taunted for her physical appearance, relief teacher Aleksich said.
‘‘Her mum came to me one afternoon in tears, [saying] I don’t know what to do.’’
‘‘I thought I have to do something.’’
Googling solutions, Aleksich (herself bullied at school) came across a programme that ‘‘hit her in the heart’’.
‘‘It was breaking down the reasons behind why we bully, and having an emotional connection with their classmates and schoolmates, and making a difference from that.’’
Now relieving at schools in Nelson a decade later– and speaking during Bullying-Free NZ Week 2022 Aleksich planned to introduce the ‘‘Challenge Day’’ initiative to schools in the region – and hopefully across New Zealand.
The programme, originating from America, helped children to understand what was going on in their peers’ lives and empathise with each other, she said.
In groups, students were asked to complete the sentence ‘‘if you really knew me, you would know that ... ’’.
It unveiled issues like separation, isolation and loneliness, ultimately helping children show compassion and stand together, she said.
‘‘Often kids divulge things like . . . ‘I look perfect and I seem to have the nice clothes and nice house, but really my family, we all have separate rooms where we all go on our phones and we don’t talk to each other about the important things’.’’
Aleksich was concerned about the amount of bullying still going on in schools in Aotearoa.
New Zealand has among the worst school bullying rates in the OECD, with 35 per cent of secondary principals reporting regular acts of intimidation or bullying, more than double the average of 14 per cent.
‘‘[Bullies] feel like they’ve been made to say sorry, just because it’s part of the process.’’
‘‘I see it, it’s in the playground, I hear it in passing,’’ said Aleksich, who works at two intermediate schools and a primary.
‘‘I hear it in discussions in the class with kids, sometimes it comes to me, and I feel powerless, because it’s just a discussion that sometimes gets brushed aside.’’
The way schools dealt with bullying, the perpetrator didn’t always go away feeling their emotional needs had been met, she said.
Bullying was often handled on a case-by-case basis, with consequences for bullies often not always followed up on, she said.
‘‘They feel like they’ve been made to say sorry, just because it’s part of the process.’’
The ‘‘Challenge Day’’ programme was now implemented in schools and organisations in countries including Germany, the Netherlands and Canada.
Aleksich wanted to start a pilot at intermediates and colleges in the Nelson region, adapting it for New Zealand students.
Catering for around 100 children, the sessions would involve people from the community; parents, teachers, counselling and local youth services.
Starting with games, children would then go into smaller groups to talk, with an adult to supervise.
The intermediate schools she worked at said they were open to the idea, but needed more information, Aleksich said.
Principal of Nayland College in Nelson, Daniel Wilson, said students took part in bullying education programmes at school through compulsory health programmes.
As well as peer programmes, the issue of bullying could also be addressed through a weekly programme, which identified needs as they arose in the school.
But while the school had identified low levels of bullying, bullying could be happening that they didn’t know about – online – and wider education programmes could help address that, he said.
Aleksich was attending training for the programme in Greece in July, for which she had set up a Givealittle page, and was aiming to start a non-profit to help facilitate the programme.