Back to Black

In the Land of the Free, having to vote on many minor matters devalues the electoral process.

America, I have come to think, is not so much defined by democracy as mired in it. Just as Japan has had a sluggish economy for so long that low growth has become a way of life, like Greek debt or Russian totalitarianism, so the democratic processes that make up the US entangle it.

The feeling is exacerbated just now because it is hard to imagine that any candidate has ever run a worse presidential campaign than Donald Trump. I want to wake up each morning and say, “Are we there yet?” It feels interminable. Each of his utterances seems more abject than the last, and many people would like to pull a blanket over their head – or, better still, his head – until it’s safe to come out.

But on election day, choosing a president, vice president and congressional representatives will be just part of the task voters face. Where I live, ballot papers will also have choices of judges for the Maryland Court of Appeals, the Court of Special Appeals and the Court of Appeals for the Sixth Circuit (which is not a racetrack), as well as members for the local county schools board.

Then there are extra ballots depending on where you live. In California, people will vote on a proposal to ban flimsy single-use plastic bags. If approved, it will be the first statewide ban, and it will be accompanied by a charge of at least 10c for every paper or thicker plastic bag used, with some of the money raised going towards consumer education. (I am guessing this will not be classes in the usefulness of plastic bags.)

California voters will also decide whether actors should be required to wear condoms in porn movies and whether ammunition dealers should be licensed.

In Nebraska, people are voting on a measure that would reinstate the death penalty. However, most of the ballots are procedural and dull, and when you cannot motivate even half the eligible voters to exercise their right to choose a president, the chance of a strong turnout on establishing statutory interest rates for loans in South Dakota is slim.

Somewhere along the line, the enthusiasm for democracy means too many votes on too many things. It’s not Trump alone who has devalued the process.

Despite having held a driver licence for several decades and driven hundreds of thousands of kilometres, I had to sit the Maryland practical driving test, which I knew beforehand has a 50% failure rate. I felt like a 15-year-old, which is something I have not said for a long time.

The test involves steering your car (or “corr” as they say here) through cones, reversing into a tight spot and doing a circuit of the local streets. I coped well with four-way stop signs where the convention – regardless of the actual road rules – is that you stop for a while, use head and hand gestures to say, “After you. No, no, please, after you”, and eventually creep across in a spirit of politeness while hoping not to be sued.

My only struggle was at a red light, where you may turn right as long as it is safe to do so. “Look, um, sorry about this,” I said to the examiner as we sat at the light. “I can’t make myself drive through a red light.” The examiner, probably convinced I was going to be a pain of a driver but at least a safe pain, said I had passed.

My licence has now arrived, and so have some mail-order Halloween fairy lights. Before I know it, I will be taking the corr to buy deep-fried mozzarella sticks at a Chipotle Mexican Grill drive-thru.

California voters will also decide whether actors should be required to wear condoms in porn movies.