Quips & Quotes

“Aberdeenshire business owner wins presidential election.” – headline Scotland’s Buchan Observer newspaper

“Some analysts say a Donald Trump presidency could cripple the future of legalised marijuana. And to make matters worse, once it’s crippled, Trump will make fun of it.” – US comedian Conan O’Brien

“I don’t consider myself a pessimist. I think of a pessimist as someone who is waiting for it to rain. And I feel soaked to the skin.” – Leonard Cohen

“There’s talk that Donald Trump may appoint Sarah Palin as secretary of the interior, which means she would oversee the National Park Service. When they heard that, bears were like, ‘Well, we had a good run.’” – US talk-show host Jimmy Fallon

“The poor object to being governed badly; the rich to being governed at all.” – GK Chesterton quoted in the Week

“Sport matters because it doesn’t matter.” – Mick Imlah, quoted in the Guardian

“What did Obama say to Trump at the White House? ‘All right, Donald, this is the Blue Room, this is the Red Room and down the hall is the office I said you were fundamentally unfit for. Library’s downstairs.’”

– US comedian Stephen Colbert

“Great leaders are almost always great simplifiers, who can cut through argument, debate and doubt to offer a solution everybody can understand.” – former US Secretary of State Colin Powell