Time and again

This being election year, there’s something that needs saying, urgently and firmly – not by wouldbe candidates and activists, but rather to them. Bluntly, there are too many people planning to get in on the act this election who have already, as the political code-phrase has it, Made Their Contribution. There’s no nice way to put it. One could try Sir Robert Jones’ forceful reminder to a former Democrat/Social Credit candidate, that he had “already been rejected by the people of Wanganui five times”.

Pride and Prejudice’s Mr Bennet was gentler with his boringly piano-monopolising daughter Mary. “You have delighted us long enough. Let the other young ladies have time to exhibit.”

Then there’s the economical Dennis Conner version: “You’re a loser. Get off the stage!”

It’s not just our politicos who fall prey to what former Australian senator Gareth Evans so aptly named relevance deprivation syndrome. Speculation that Hillary Clinton may now contest the New York mayoralty dismays even many of her supporters.

Former Australian Prime Minister Kevin Rudd’s vain bid to head the United Nations, despite his own country declining to endorse him, caused international embarrassment. And it’s hard to divine the British Government’s intention in recycling leading Brexiteer Boris Johnson as Foreign Minister. Had he not already done enough to his country?

However, our election-year Groundhog Day quotient is dismayingly high. Already we’ve reprised the annual pre-Waitangi Day hostilities, to no purpose for race relations or national pride on any side of the Treaty argument. And there’s a whole whack-amole series of replays to come. Kim Dotcom could not have been told more firmly by the electorate last time that it deplored this moneyed foreigner’s self-motivated desire to topple the Prime Minister. His Internet-Mana alliance got barely 1% of the vote.

Yet he’s vowing to have another crack. One of his candidates, former minister Laila Harré, has just completed a round trip from Labour, via NewLabour, the Alliance and Internet-Mana, to rejoin Labour and, it is widely speculated, is angling for selection. That few in Labour publicly rejoice at her return deters her not a jot.

Then there’s Family First’s Bob McCoskrie. Having convincingly failed to spike the public and parliamentary appetite for outlawing child-smacking or the recognition of same-sex marriage, McCoskrie is again battling for relevance with a proposal to pay stay-at-home parents a permanent benefit.

Economist and philanthropist Gareth Morgan is ploughing ahead with his Opportunity Party, seemingly unsated by the massive publicity he already receives for his nostrums on how we should live. He has already broken a key promise to debate policy without resorting to personal abuse. The language of the beltway can be opaque, but it has yet to adopt “dickhead”, “moron”, “dropkick” or “nutso cat lady” as policy jargon.

Even former Conservative Party leader Colin Craig, mired in civil litigation after his inglorious political drubbing, was last on record as believing he still has a contribution to make to public life. His old party, too, intends to stay in the hunt this election, despite the ineffable embarrassment of Craig’s exploits.

To cap it all off, political activist Nicky Hager is readying another book. To say voters have not, on balance, been much impressed by his triennial attempts to sway elections would be putting it mildly. Although Hager has certainly uncovered some valuable public-interest material, his books view every subject through a narrow, unworldly prism, and yet again he is unlikely to connect with most voters on whichever theme he has picked this time.

These eternal triers are only human. The political limelight is addictive, as evidenced by the painfully slow exit shuffle of many veteran MPs. Although it’s often said there’s nothing so ex- as an ex-MP, some do, of course, make a worthwhile second contribution: Helen Clark, Dame Fran Wilde, Mike Moore, Sir Don McKinnon and Phil Goff among them.

And given that Australians granted even Pauline Hanson a comeback – albeit prompting Kiwi MP Kelvin Davis last week to say a One Nation senator was “depriving a village somewhere in Australia of its idiot” – the humblest of yesterday’s politicos may feel in with a chance.

However, there comes a time when it’s important that they ask themselves Mr Bennet’s kindly but exacting question: haven’t I delighted the public enough now?

Given that Australians granted even Pauline Hanson a comeback, the humblest of yesterday’s politicos may feel in with a chance.