Wordsworth

This week’s challenge called for couplets containing far-fetched election promises. Picton’s Nozz Fletcher suggests questionable education reforms: We’ll let students choose both what they learn/And what their classroom teachers earn.

A grand pledge from Karori’s Poppy Sinclair: In the country today there’s much pain and distress./We’re short on specifics but we’ll sort the whole mess.

Blenheim’s Keith Davidson: Who’d like more cash? We’ll give you plenty!/ (And we’ll try this again in 2020.)

Grandiose solutions from Auckland’s Mike Jarman: Electric trains, North

Cape to Bluff/ And if, my friends, that’s not enough/New highways running all the way/Six lanes each, no tolls to pay./ Seabed tunnels to cross Cook Strait/In our first term! No need to wait.

Warren Palmer of Dunedin: The Prisoner Party can’t be denied./Your vote ought to count when you’re stuck inside.

Tommy Wilson of Papamoa: Vote for us and feel more alive/You’ll receive your super at age thirty-five.

But the winner is Waikouaiti’s John Jones: Vote Beehive Naturist: House rules amended/See politicians as nature intended. Also from John: For a nicer, neater, normal nation:/Vote Allied Alliteration.

For the next competition, send us examples of superheroes you might find helpful in everyday life.

For example, Captain Silence: can mute obnoxious passengers on public transport. Or, the Switcheroo: a shapeshifter who substitutes for you at work while you stay home and relax. Entries, for the prize below, close at noon on Thursday, September 28. Submissions: wordsworth@listener.co.nz or Wordsworth, NZ Listener, Private Bag 92512, Wellesley St, Auckland 1141. Please include your address.