Wordsworth Gabe Atkinson

The contest this week asked readers to provide an unexpected answer in prose or verse to an acquaintance who asks, “What do you do in your spare time?”

Kamo’s Tony Clemow writes: Singing is my favourite hobby:/in the bathtub or a lobby./My deafness is a defect which/ bedevils me. When seeking pitch/I listen to my inner voice./While others wince, I grin, rejoice. Lois Morgan, Nelson: You’d never guess! I play the flute,/Read Mills & Boon when I commute,/Eat chocs I hide with frozen peas,/And join protesters in the trees.

Keith Davidson, Blenheim: Sorry you asked, my dear old mate./When daily you’re out working late/I’m happy entertaining Jo,/Your gorgeous wife who, months ago,/Sad that her needs weren’t satisfied,/Found me in a classified.

From the valorous Bernard Collins of Whangarei. To keep our city clean, in my spare time,/I do that little extra,/I walk the streets with a plastic bag/and pick up leftbehind canine excreta. John M Burkett, Palmerston North (with a nod to Last of the Summer Wine): “Oh, I just like to sit quietly.”

Trish Bishop, Hamilton: I am learning the rules of rugby /So I can fit snugly/

Into all the talk/ That is always about sport./”Keep those loosies loose/and bring in those wings”/Hope springs eternal./I am planning to write a journal.

But Anne Martin of Helensville is the winner: I’m a happy volunteer fireman./ Fires! I love to fight ‘em./And if there are no fires to fight/I go around and light ‘em.

For the next challenge, suppose you have started a cult and wish to entice new members by advertising. Send us a four-line radio jingle describing your new movement. Entries for the prize below close at noon, Thursday, July 26. Submissions: wordsworth@listener.co.nz or Wordsworth, NZ Listener, Private Bag 92512, Wellesley St, Auckland 1141. Please include your address. Entries may be edited for sense or space reasons.

WIN THIS

A DVD of The Shape of Water, a Guillermo del Toro-directed fantasy drama set in Cold War-era America in which a mute government cleaner (Sally Hawkins) bonds with a top-secret creature.