Wordsworth

The competition this week called for limericks about well-known scandals. A surprising number of entries addressed the long-ago Profumo affair and the underarm bowling incident was also popular.

Lois Morgan of Nelson writes: A minister I shall call Murray/Sent nine hundred sheep in a hurry/Plus millions of dollars/To some Saudi wallahs/In hopes of trade deals without worry.

Jack Watt, Christchurch: At the pacing it paid to be last/For the horse that you could have got past/With hardly a sweat on/Was the one that you bet on/Knowing never a question was asked.

Malcolm Thomas, Hamilton: The Ponzi scheme, it’s fair to say/Was raised to an art form that day/When Madoff began/A most dastardly plan/To rob his rich mates of their pay.

Rex McGregor, Auckland: An ambitious young woman called Mandy/ Met a viscount who proved to be randy/The Profumo affair/Drove the chap to despair/ But for Mandy the fame came in handy.

But Ted Meager of Christchurch wins with a clever two-verse effort: If we’re talking of past misdemeanours/ Perhaps you’ll remember Ribena’s/Two girls did some fishin’/And the Commerce Commission/Took GlaxoSmithKline to the cleaners./The judge said to counsel, “Between us/Misrepresentations demean us/The lack of nutrition’s/A glaring omission/And these claims of Ribena’s are heinous.”

Next time, send us a greeting card rhyme for an occasion on which you would not normally give a card. For example: It’s over for you and the end has been reached/Commiserations on being impeached!

Entries, for the prize below, close at noon on Thursday, October 18.