Wordsworth

Gabe Atkinson

The challenge was to create names and mission descriptions for unworthy or morally questionable new charities, with the option of supplying acronyms.

Poppy Sinclair, of Karori: RORT: Reimbursing Official Royal Tours.

Lindsay Walker, Tauranga: GOGO: Get On, Get Off: Providing the elderly with a convenient, free transportation service to local strip clubs and bordellos.

Valentine Venimore, Huntly: STATES: Systematic Tax And Tariff Evasion Society.

Mason Brewer, Auckland: CHOPPER: Conveying Humans Over Prison Parapets, Evading Recapture: Delivers an airborne jailbreak service for the unjustly detained.

Yvonne Moosberger, Hamilton: CLAPTRAP: Contribute Lots, All Proceeds Towards Ruining Abject Parliamentarians.

Ashley Morgan, Wellington: TROPHY: Tranquil Retirements On Palatial House Yachts: A generous pension fund for pampered America’s Cup sailors when their racing days are over.

Two from Auckland’s Rex McGregor: STASH: Support Terrorists Abusing Synthetic Highs; SHEESH: Save Huge, Exorbitant Executive Salary Hikes.

Mick Ferns, Invercargill: MP Relief Society: Bringing a little joy into the lives of members of Parliament suffering from fallout fatigue.

But Queenstown’s Margi Parker takes the prize: EMBARGO: Expired Medicines Bought And Resold Globally Organisation.

Next, suppose you are facing a Customs officer at the airport who asks, “Have you anything to declare?” Send us a brief response in prose or poetry. For inspiration, consider this (possibly apocryphal) reply attributed to Oscar Wilde: “I have nothing to declare except my own genius.”

Entries, for the prize below, close at noon on Thursday, November 29.

Submissions: wordsworth@listener.co.nz or Wordsworth, NZ Listener, Private Bag 92512, Wellesley St, Auckland 1141. Please include your address. Entries may be edited for sense or space reasons.