Quips& Quotes

“The Bachelor is the show that answers the question: how much wine do you have to drink until the guy making out with 20 different women seems like he’d make a good husband? – US talk show host Jimmy Kimmel

“The scientific theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline luggage. – US comedian Mark Russell

“They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad to realise that I’m going to miss mine by just a few days.” – US author Garrison Keillor

“Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.” – comic strip creator Scott Adams

“Martin Scorsese’s movie The Wolf of Wall Street broke a record by using the f-word 506 times. It beat the previous record, which was set by my dad trying to put together a desk from Ikea.” – US talk show host Jimmy Fallon

“Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.” – British journalist Miles Kington

“If you can’t be a good example, then you’ll just have to be a horrible warning.” – English novelist Catherine Aird

“If you want to give God a good laugh, tell Him your plans.” – Yiddish proverb

“Poetry is what gets lost in translation.” – US poet Robert Frost