Wordsworth

This week’s challenge was to compose a four-line radio jingle for a new brand of sunblock, without mentioning the word “sun”. Nozz Fletcher, Waikawa: SolarRolla/ With the sexy aroma/A dab a day/Wards off melanoma. Tony Clemow, Kamo: You need more than spontaneous prayer/to screen your subcutaneous layer./Put a coating on your flesh:/with Solar Foam, your pores refresh. Anne Martin, Helensville: Red skin is for radishes,/Peeling is for strippers./SizzFree stops you looking/Like rosy-tinted kippers. Oliver Redfern, Hamilton: Beware the blazing orb above/Its beams can be a menace/So rub our lotion on before/You bugger off to tennis. Andrew Uren, Auckland: Roasting chook is not the look/Your skin will crisp away/Splash this cream on all day long/ To block the burning ray. Ellie Henderson, Motueka: You don’t want an orange face/Like mister you-knowwho/UV-Go blocks rays outside/And even indoors, too. Gill Burke, Eastbourne: Turn back the clock and shun the tan,/Protect your summer skin./Apply our lovely vintage creme/Pale and Interestin’. Brett Playle, Auckland: Block UV rays/ With our wonder cream/Turn a burning nightmare/Into summer’s dream. Rex McGregor, Auckland: Protect yourself with Ray Resist,/Our skin insurance lotion./It works high on Mt Everest/And deep down in the ocean. But Judy Day of Auckland is the winner: Stroke, stroke, stroke it on,/Gently on your skin;/Keep the tan but stop the can-/cer subtly creeping in. For the next contest, send us some prose examples of “things you don’t want to hear” in any of the following situations: after you get married, as you’re checking in to a hotel, after you’ve woken from surgery or as you arrive at work. Entries, for the prize below, close at noon on Thursday, October 31.