The Gift Registry
How to find out what might work for you, and how to pull it off gracefully.
The idea of swanning through a store picking out gifts for other people to buy for you can seem a tad... self-indulgent. But consider the alternative: each of your guests spending months scratching their heads over whether or not you already have a hand mixer they’ve seen. Then, you open a pile of gifts to find you’ve received three cake stands, eight sets of plates and one wall hanging that you know you’ll only put up when Uncle Stu comes to visit. Well intentioned as each gift is, you’ll spend weeks returning items, clearing space in storage cupboards and wondering what to write in the thank-you cards. Gift registries were invented to circumnavigate all of the above. There are lots of options to choose from and, yes, different etiquette codes for each. But when a gift registry is done right, your guests will thank you for it.
YOU WANT THE TRADITIONAL
If you’re moving into your first home together following ‘I do’, or setting up a place on your own for the first time after years of flatting, a traditional gift registry from a homeware retailer may be the right fit. Lots of big-name stores (think Briscoes, Harvey Norman and Stevens) allow you to set up a registry online and then click away to fill it with pots, pans, whiteware and appliances. Guests go into the store or onto the website and use your name to bring up the list of items you’ve earmarked. They choose a gift, the item is crossed off the list, and they either take it home and wrap it themselves, or the store wraps the gift on their behalf ( great for out- of-town guests) and then delivers them all straight to you on a date of your choice. Too easy.
TOP TIP When stocking your registry include items at a range of prices to suit differing budgets. That means you should opt for the $25 mug set as well as that luxury cast iron roasting dish. In doing this, guests won’t feel pressured to spend more than they can actually afford.
YOU WANT A HONEYMOON FUND
Honeymoon registries are becoming increasingly popular as many couples already have households set up. Mainstream travel agents such as Flight Centre offer registries to fund all travel bookable by them, such as flights and accommodation, cruises and insurance. Alternatively, a service such as Honeypot (honeypotregistry. co.nz) allows you to list items on a unique URL and attach a price to them (it might be flights to Vanuatu, a zip-lining experience once you’re there, or money for a bottle of Duty Free champagne). Guests can ‘ buy’ items in full, or contribute partially to the cost of them, and Honeypot will deposit the money directly into your bank account so you can spend it accordingly.
TOP TIP When veering away from the traditional there’s always the chance of a few raised eyebrows. Worried? Offer guests a choice. Some may like to give you something tangible while others will be more than happy to contribute money towards an online honeymoon fund. Mildred&co’s easy to use website (mildredandco.com) offers the ultimate platform for doing exactly this. As well as a conventional online registry ►
system allowing couples to register for the store’s high- quality homeware, the site’s wishlist feature also allows couples to add 10 items they don’t stock, such as flights and accommodation packages.
YOU WANT CASH
Perhaps your kitchen is in a state of disrepair, or you’re saving for a house deposit. Either way, the most useful gift you could receive is a monetary one. As above, online services such as Honeypot allow you to attribute money to a fund. It’s all about creating your registry, your way. It means you can pick the things that are important to you as a couple, and your guests can help make it happen. Alternatively, set up a collection point at the reception – a box clearly labelled ‘Cards’, for example – and ask a trusted family member to be responsible for collecting it at the end of the night.
TOP TIP When asking for money, tact is key: it’s important that guests know what the money is going towards. Perhaps set up a wedding website which, as well as venue directions and transport details, features a photo of the garden and a humorous paragraph explaining that you would love to make some improvements to your backyard. Once you’ve put the money to use in the garden, send a new photo showing off your lush herb garden, a velvety patch of grass and a tidy courtyard complete with outdoor seating and a barbecue.
YOU WANT SOMETHING UNIQUE
You’ve got all the household appliances you need, but your guests are still keen to get you something sentimental and long-lasting. Consider approaching an art gallery, or a wedding film creator, and asking guests to contribute towards a less conventional registry option.
TOP TIP As with honeymoon and cash funds, the key is to let guests know that your art registry or wedding video fund is an option, not an expectation. As long as you’re polite and sincere, guests shouldn’t take offence. Explain to your guests that they can choose to contribute if they desire, but also make it clear that their presence at your wedding is the perfect present. W