The best of INTENTIONS
JEREMY BREAKS THE TRADITION OF SETTING TRADITIONS
Ihave a new respect for tradition. Not for any meaningful reason; I haven’t suddenly found a deep understanding of any specific commemoration or institution.
No. My respect for tradition comes from realising just how hard they are to establish.
Getting a tradition started is easy: You just make a decree, like, “It’s No Biscuit Tuesday!”
Maintaining that tradition is where the grunt work comes in and, unless you are a particularly focused or invested individual, practicality or laziness will take over and you’ll give in.
One of the habits Megan and I are trying to embed in our daily routine is that of conversation at dinner. I have wild imaginings of our family meals bubbling with banter and intellectual electricity as we pass giant plates of food between us. The sort of idyllic family scene Hollywood would have us believe is the norm.
To achieve this dream, we started small, by going around the table having everyone answer a simple question as we sat to stuff our faces: “What was the best part of your day?”
Day one and two went well as everyone got on board with the fun of telling stories, but attention slowly drifted over time. A year or so on, it’s fair to say most family members regard it as a chore. When I ask the question, the children react by dropping their shoulders, plopping their heads back and groaning. It’s like I’ve asked them to wash all the dishes in the street.
I still enforce the ritual. By now, I get interesting answers, like, “School,” or, “Home.”
Even from my wife. I hope we will eventually push through this sluggish phase and burst out the other side into conversational nirvana but, deep down I know the tradition is fading.
It’s not helped by the “no cellphones at the table” tradition we’re trying to launch. It’s a good rule that every child should observe. The current problem is the adults. The children don’t even have cellphones. Megan and I start with the best intentions, but invariably the buzz of an alert will lure us into picking up our phones and checking out of the family conversation.
In a positive twist, the kids are confiscating our phones at dinnertime. If they’re laying down the law now, they’ll obey it themselves in future, right?
The Sunday train trip! A great idea spawned from our girls’ initial enthusiasm for experiencing rail travel.
Every Sunday, we would be transported by train to a family dinner. We could meet other friends and family, then head into town, out of town or across town! The possibilities were endless!
No. The possibilities were three. That’s how many weekends the train tradition lasted. My excited suggestions these days are met with the regular shoulder-drop-head-rollback-groan.
I’m no longer offended by my kids’ bored reactions to my ideas. In fact, I now regard their response as a sort of tradition.