Storm in a teacup
OUR FAVOURITES FROM THE ’70s IT WAS A TIME WHEN SEWING AND KNITTING PATTERNS WERE MUST-HAVES IN THE MAGAZINE
This week, take a trip down memory lane to 1973 with this bumper Teacups special, where each submission that was published earnt $1 (about $16 in today’s money!). Over the Teacups has always been one of our readers’ favourite sections of the Weekly – and don’t forget you can still submit your own! Find details on page 78. Down on the farm aveclesmoutons! Enjoyed entertaining a visitor from Paris (France) recently, but had a few translation difficulties. Showing her around the farm, I introduced her to the sheep dogs, then to the sheep.
“Just sheep?” she asked. “No, not ‘just sheep’; ‘sheep sheep’,” I explained.
“Oh.” She sounded unconvinced. If sheep can be dogs, they must be... oh, well.
Then we inspected the rams and the bulldozer in the paddock next to the bulls where the driver was working repairing the hydraulic ram... “Oh, yes!”
Then we returned to the house, where my son was hobbling around on a crutch because he cut his leg while... er – crutching.
Her husband was just as confused after being shown the docking paddock without a sheep in sight and the dip which isn’t a dip at all but a shower.
I’m sure they went home thinking New Zealand farmers are more than slightly mad. Rachel, Poverty Bay Those announcers! A radio announcer in the South Island, advertising meat pies –“Delightfully juicy meat pies made from the people of Central Otago.” Milly, South Otago How else would you put it? Elderly type, when asked the secret of her ability to cope with housekeeping duties, despite her age and physical handicaps: “It’s keeping going that keeps me going!” Squaw, Papatoetoe Enjoying the signery Along Auckland’s waterfront road after Tamaki Drive merges into Quay Street, one wonders what tourists think of our old railway sheds with their broken windows, but it always makes my day when I see the sign someone has put up: “Popular Garages”. Walk with Me, Mission Bay Animal crackers For ages our cat’s favourite perch was the bathroom windowsill from which she could observe the garden below. Unhappily, this vantage point lost all its attraction when short-sighted Grandma came to stay. After her early morning wash, the dear old soul, minus her glasses, reached for what appeared to be a towel hanging over the hand basin. Pandemonium ensued as
Puss, rudely hauled by her tail, tumbled shrieking into the still full basin. She now keeps to the front patio. D.H., Auckland Moa-in-law? While looking round the natural history museum in New York, I stopped outside the display case containing many native birds from New Zealand set against suitable ground and backdrop scenery. Another group of people stopped to look at the display and one pointed to the small moa standing to one side. “That looks like Toby’s mother,” she said. Mary-Rose, Wellington Lines crossed It happened in the days when the telephone was new to the country folk of our village. Sister’s beau had at last plucked up the courage to ask Father for
her hand. “Mr M,” he said.
“Do you mind if I give Mary a ring?” “Not at all, my boy,” was the disconcerting reply. “The phone’s just inside the door.”
L.H., Oamaru
A funny thing happened on the way to…
Was it superstition or coincidence? Uncle, who was about to walk under a ladder, hesitated for a moment, then told himself not to be silly and marched right on – only to come out the other side and have a big block of concrete crash on his foot. The air was blue. Twelve hours and four broken bones later, he was able to laugh about it and swear it was all coincidence. But it did take 12 hours!
Em May, Whakatane
The Queen was in the counting-house…
Talk about being absentminded! She was counting the eggs as she plated them in their compartments on the fridge door. She counted “8,9,10” then went on “Jack, Queen, King” before she realised it! She must be getting old, she says.
Smiler, Blenheim
Wishable?
Admired some dainty handkerchiefs in a local shop recently and asked the assistant if she could be boiled. “Certainly, Madam,” came the reply. “Just use ordinary warm water.”
Briela, Auckland
Taxi!
On arriving in London and not knowing the area in which we were staying, my sister and I tried to get a taxi to take us to
our destination. Several turned us down. We wondered why they all said “No!” until we realised the house was about two doors along.
Country People, Marton
Liberated?
As we both arrived home from work together, I was grateful for my husband’s helping hand with dinner – until he grabbed what he mistook for the dishcloth to wipe up some water spilt on the bench and had himself a handful of freshly crumbed schnitzel!
Jeanette, Auckland
Those fencibles?
It happened on our farm, where a young worker had the job of fencing a yard. When finished, he was still satisfied with the results until he awakened to the fact that he had fenced the tractor in.
Kiwi, Masterton
Re-cycling?
How is this for re-use of materials? I packed a parcel for an Auckland address.
The box had come from Japan to a Christchurch friend, then to me; the wrapping paper was off a calendar from Germany, and the string from a Los Angeles parcel.
Mehere, Auckland