NEW CHRISTMAS TRADITIONS: ‘I GET ONLINE!’
Gillian from Wellington says she’s struggled with loneliness at Christmas for the past few years since her husband Grant passed away suddenly in 2015 after suffering a heart attack. Gillian is originally from the UK, where the rest of her siblings and family still live – and Grant had no family. They had two children – a son who lives in Singapore and a daughter who lives in Italy.
“Both my children came home for Christmas the year that Grant passed away so that I wouldn’t be alone, but it’s a great expense and they can’t be taking all that time off every year either. The next year, I couldn’t bear the thought of being alone, so I went back to the UK and spent it with my sister’s family, and my daughter flew over from Italy. But that was a one-off – the furthest I could
really go in the years after that is as far as my Gold Card will take me.
After a couple of depressing Christmases, I turned it around. I went to a SeniorNet course and learned how to use my computer. So on Christmas night, I got up in the middle of it and went on Skype and had Christmas lunch with my daughter, her husband and all their in-laws. It was hilarious. They made me a place setting and set up the laptop on a chair. I kept some leftovers from the meal I made myself during the day, so I got that in the oven and felt like I was a part of it.
On Christmas Day, I just relaxed and watched a movie and cooked – but I didn’t feel sad because I knew I had an event to go to later!”
‘I HOLD PARTIES‘
June from Hamilton says that a tradition her parents held up has proved a godsend after a change of circumstances in her own life.
“My late parents loved Christmas and would make a big fuss of us children. But they always said that Christmas wasn’t just for us, it was for others, so we would always have to volunteer and do things for others over the season.
Christmas Eve was their favourite. They’d invite the neighbours over – particularly any elderly people on the street – for a glass of sherry and a piece of Christmas cake.
When I married, my parents said I was no longer invited to their do and I must start my own, so my husband and I did just that. The year my mother died, it looked like half the neighbourhood turned up at my father’s house and he continued to have a large group of visitors every year until he passed away.
While I was serving cake to our guests, it was lovely to think of him having his own fun and visitors in those last years.
My husband Ken had a long battle with cancer and in his final years, we still had guests from the street over on Christmas Eve. And in the 10 years since his passing,
I’ve never been alone – in fact, the doorbell hasn’t stopped ringing. Some stop by and talk for an hour and others just pop in for 10 minutes, but I cherish the company.
I miss my parents and Ken, but I still feel a great deal of joy at Christmas and thanks to them, I never feel alone at this time of year.”