WEEKLY RETRO & TEACUPS

BEETLE BREW

I was just starting to do the morning tea dishes when I noticed some cotton hanging from the spout of the teapot. I pulled at the “cotton” and out of the spout came a very dead weta. The invader must have crawled into the spout overnight, so we must have had at least three brews over his dead body. Yikes! In spite of the “creepy” addition, the tea did not appear to be any “weta” than usual.

Ida, Auckland

HE GETS IT!

My poor sister-in-law was complaining that all she ever seemed to do was cook, clean and look after children. “There’s nothing to looking after children!” snorted her husband in disgust. “Unless, of course,” he added as an afterthought, “there’s something else that you’re trying to do at the same time!”

Twas Brian, Masterton

CANNY CANINE

Lately, our dog has been bringing home oddments from all over the neighbourhood. Her haul includes a whole display carton of pretzel sticks, tennis balls, golf balls, used clothing bags and any other things left in her reach. Recently, she brought home a sausage and, after me telling her off, she ran straight off and brought home a lettuce! Anyone interested in a jumble sale?

G.J., Auckland

STREET TALK

Overheard as we strolled past a parked car, its radiator bubbling and hissing and obviously out of water. “Gee,

that gladiator’s sure steaming!”

Wai, Northland

GUESS WHO

My Irish better half picked up a cigarette lighter off the table. “Hey,” he said, “that’s the lighter I gave my mate at work and I forgot to take it to him.”

Irish Two, Picton