MUM’S IVF MIRACLE
‘How I’m helping others’
Taking her two-year-old son Otis on “magical” evening walks and getting peanut butter smothered through her hair are simple joys which Lisa Lord will never take for granted.
The 37-year-old Aucklander spent five gruelling years undergoing fertility treatment, which caused seemingly endless disappointment, relationship trials, guilt and tens of thousands of dollars in medical bills.
“The hardest thing with infertility is you don’t know when it’s going to end,” reflects the Fertility Fund ambassador. “It’s hard to remain positive when you don’t know how long you’ll be in this headspace.
“But I had to keep trying because the alternative meant having no baby. I had to keep knocking on that door and trust it would open.”
That’s exactly what Lisa’s continuing to do as she and husband Elliot now fight for baby number two. Trying to give Otis a sibling is a natural desire given Lisa grew up in a fun, blended family “like the Brady Bunch”.
With no menstrual cycle and a polycystic ovaries syndrome diagnosis, Lisa suspected she’d face challenges when she started trying to get pregnant at 30. So, after the drug Clomiphene failed to help her ovulate, then intrauterine insemination (IUI) and gonadotrophin injections were also unsuccessful, the couple began in-vitro fertilisation – funding each cycle (costing $10,000-plus) themselves to avoid waiting for public funding.
“I thought, ‘Wow, I’m 31 and doing IVF.’ I couldn’t believe it, but it was also exciting because we were closer to having a baby.”
A rollercoaster of highs and lows followed. Lisa awoke from her first egg collection procedure to find that despite having 14-plus healthy follicles, there were no eggs to retrieve. A second round of IVF was also unsuccessful.
“We were in the same place – $24,000 later – just with more heartache.”
Next, they tried two rounds of in-vitro maturation (IVM), which involves extracting immature eggs and harvesting them in a lab.
“We got two embryos, but they were low-grade,” she shares. “We’d spent over six figures and were no closer.”
Meanwhile, Lisa struggled with being a good friend while grappling with infertility.
“I watched single friends end up married with two children in the space of time we were trying for one. All my sisters-in-law were pregnant at the same time. The hardest thing was realising it’s possible to be happy for others while sad for yourself.
“There’s guilt that comes
with a friend telling you they’re pregnant and your reaction being to cry. I was always happy for them, but I felt deeply tortured about my own situation.”
At 34, Lisa’s public funding came through, so she commenced another IVF cycle using a more aggressive protocol. It caused excessive stimulation of her ovaries, landing her in hospital with ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome (OHSS). The silver lining? She produced seven embryos.
But after the first six embryos transferred to Lisa’s uterus didn’t eventuate in pregnancy, she started blaming herself.
“It’s like, ‘Don’t eat gluten, don’t eat dairy, exercise, get acupuncture.’ So much advice! Then you go out for a wine because you’re stressed, but think, ‘Have I ruined everything by having wine?’”
“One time I ate a whole bag of popcorn, then the embryo transfer didn’t work and I blamed myself for eating popcorn. That’s how much you critique yourself.”
Finally, the lucky last seventh embryo succeeded, leaving Lisa and Elliot stunned.
“Unspeakable happiness” is how she describes their first months with newborn
Otis. During any challenging moments, she reminded herself, “This is nowhere near as hard as the hard moments not having him.”
Those difficult times naturally included pressure on Lisa and Elliot’s relationship. At times, lawyer-turned-mortgage broker Elliot wouldn’t ask how Lisa was doing for fear of “rocking the boat”, which led to her assuming he wasn’t interested. He now regularly checks in.
“We’ve been doing this for seven years, so it takes a massive toll. It makes me sad that all those special moments you’re supposed to have once you’re married quickly turned into hard times.
“But other couples face hardships in different ways, whether it’s illness or losing a parent. This is our cross to bear and in other areas of life, we’ve been incredibly blessed.”
As they attempt to expand their family, Lisa has completed a sixth IVF cycle, which became complicated by another hospitalisation with OHSS, a bout of shingles, then two miscarriages.
“I hoped I’d be one of those stories of, ‘They had such hard times with the first baby, then surprise – pregnant!’ Sadly, that didn’t happen,” Lisa tells.
She has now undergone her seventh egg collection and another transfer – and remains hopeful.
Lisa’s deeply aware many couples don’t share her ability to afford such treatment and understands those diagnosed with unexplained infertility in their late-thirties face a fiveyear wait for public funding, by which point they’re over 40 and are ineligible.
So, with the help of Fertility Associates, she’s spearheading the Fertility Fund Charitable Trust, which aims to annually raise $100,000-$120,000 to enable 10 to 12 struggling
Kiwi couples to undergo IVF.
“Otis has been my biggest challenge, but given me the biggest joy,” she enthuses. “He’s bright, fun and makes the simplest joys magical.
I’d 100 per cent go through everything again because
I got him in the end.”
‘I’d 100 per cent go through everything again because I got him in the end’