Could you HAVE ADHD?

Why so many adult women are ‘coming out’

Here’s the thing: We all misplace our keys or phone. We don’t always finish what we start. We might fidget or zone out in meetings, miss appointments, make impulse purchases, fall down the rabbit hole of social media when procrastinating and sometimes feel overwhelmed by the juggle that is modern life. But that doesn’t mean we have attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). We’re humans, not bots – and even they don’t function glitch-free!

For most of us, these symptoms are a momentary nuisance, but for an estimated 280,000 New Zealanders, they become a major stumbling block for managing the “big” stuff – getting a degree, managing a mortgage, parenting effectively or holding down a job.

“Women are more likely to experience both ‘missed’ diagnosis of ADHD or ‘misdiagnosis’ of ADHD,” says Dani Bultitude, a therapeutic coach for neurodivergent adults. “Women are commonly diagnosed with stress

– which is assumed as normal for mothers of young children – anxiety, depression, postnatal depression, premenstrual dysphoric disorder or bipolar disorder. At times, some of these conditions may exist in addition to an undiagnosed ADHD, but for many it’s simply a misinterpretation of ADHD symptoms.”

Part of the diagnostic difficulty is that women are often very good at masking – we’re socialised into “keeping it together” from an early age.

“Young girls more commonly experience either inattentive ADHD traits or they internalise their experience of their ADHD, which causes distress for them but is not noticed by observers,” says Dani. “Boys are more likely to externalise, which not only causes distress for the child, but also for those around them.”

As a result, it’s often not until later in life, when difficulties with organisation and task completion become more evident, that it’s identified as a problem, according to the Ministry of Health.

As psychiatrist and author Dr Lisa Myers explains, ADHD is a neurodevelopmental disorder – it changes the brain’s biological development She says women with ADHD often

have reduced dopamine (required for motivation) and noradrenaline (responsible for attention).

“ADHD has multifactorial causes and is likely an interplay of genetics and environmental factors,” says Lisa. “Women tend to have more symptoms of inattention and executive dysfunction. They may be unable to organise and manage their lives, tend to be more chaotic and scattered, are easily overwhelmed and emotionally reactive. All of this can lead to increased rates of anxiety, depression and low selfesteem.”

Despite being well researched, ADHD is also still widely misunderstood and stigmatised.

“Current evidence suggests that a large proportion of late diagnosed women have a higher-than-average IQ and manage ADHD through compensatory masking behaviours,” says Dani. “It busts the myth that ‘smart people can’t have ADHD’. They can indeed, but usually the result is that they live with very high levels of stress.”

According to Lisa, women with ADHD can be quick thinkers, very personable, creative, energetic and hyperfocused when working on an interesting task.

“ADHD is less obvious when people are very intelligent or have made accommodations,” says Lisa. But masking the symptoms doesn’t reduce the risk of anxiety, depression or burnout, especially when hormonal changes are a complicating factor.

“ADHD affects the regulation of many things, including mood instability, irritability and frustration tolerance,” says Dani.

‘All of this can lead to anxiety, depression and low self-esteem’