Do you know the seven signs of family harm?
CHECKING ON YOUR WHĀNAU
The ideal image of a Kiwi Christmas is beach trips, presents, real fruit icecream and pavlova – but for many, the reality of the holidays is much different.
New Zealand has one of the highest rates of domestic violence in the OECD, with one in three women in New Zealand having reportedly experienced family harm.
And sadly each year over the Christmas and new year period, there is a sharp increase.
‘‘There are extra pressures at this time of year that can exacerbate relationship issues and put a strain on individuals and families,’’ Eric Tibbott, the police director: community partnerships and prevention, told Stuff.
‘‘Added financial stress, increased alcohol consumption, difficult relationships with extended family, decisions about where to spend holidays and access to children in separated families can all be factors.’’
Considering the extra pressure of Covid lockdowns in many regions around the country over the past few months, this holiday season may be even more stressful than normal for many families.
NZ Police respond to more than 100,000 calls per year relating to family violence, and they are asking people to be extra vigilant this year.
It’s essential to keep an eye out for classic signs of family harm, whether within your own whānau or others you’re close with.
The seven red flags for family violence are:
■ Controlling behaviour
■ Intimidation (whether physical or verbal)
■ Threats to kill
■ Strangulation and choking
■ Physical or sexual violence
■ Jealousy or possessiveness
■ Stalking
Unfortunately, though 90 per cent of victims in the New Zealand Crime and Victims Survey knew help was available, only 23 per cent wanted support, with many wanting to handle the situation themselves.
If you suspect someone needs help, ask the following questions:
■ Are you OK?
■ Is someone hurting you?
■ Is there anything I can do? Other supportive steps include:
■ Letting them know that help is available to them
■ Listening and taking what they’re saying seriously
■ Refraining from telling them what to do – they need to make
Where to get help
The following support is freely available for victims, perpetrators of family violence, or those who want to help:
■ 0800 HEY BRO - Hey Bro
■ 0800 REFUGE - Women’s refuge
■ 0800 456 450 - Family violence information line
■ Call 111 if it’s happening now.
For more information, please visit: police.govt.nz/advice/familyviolence/help their own decisions, at their own pace.
■ Calling 111 if someone is in danger
We know there are also people who don’t want to harm their loved ones but who are facing an internal struggle.
If you suspect someone you know may be triggered into violence, the following steps may help them cool down before it escalates:
■ Check in with your mate(s), ask them how they’re coping, and be there to listen
■ Encourage anyone showing signs of stress to stop, walk away and take some time if they’re getting heated
NZ Police say they want to make sure every whānau is safe at home this holiday season and encourage you to keep an eye on those around you and do something if you see or suspect harm is occurring.
This article is published in association with NZ Police as part of a commercial arrangement between Stuff and NZ Police.