Safe place for men to talk
After losing two people he knew to suicide this year, Dave Ashworth decided he had to do something. The father-of-two started the New Plymouth branch of For All The Brothers, an organisation started in Auckland by Zane Munro, where every Monday morning, men can meet for coffee and chat. ‘‘My wife mentioned something about a year ago about starting something up, something similar, and I just wasn’t really in the right place to do it. ‘‘And then recently these last few suicides, especially in the surfing community, where I was sharing waves with him one day, and then heard about it the next, was close to home, so I thought something needs to happen.’’ Ashworth said For All The Brothers was a safe place where guys could get together and talk about the stuff that that men don’t talk about enough – like depression, anxiety and financial stress. In New Zealand, the suicide rate for men is higher than for women. Ministry of Health figures show in the 2021/22 financial year, there were 401 men suspected of suffering selfinflicted deaths and 137 women suspected of self-inflicted deaths. Ashworth decided to have the group on Mondays at 7am at Bleached Coffee on Devon St West, because he knew Mondays were usually hard for everyone, so wanted to start the week off with some positivity. The group has been running for several weeks now and Ashworth has been surprised with how many guys have shown up. The first session he expected two or three but 12 turned up, and he is seeing familiar faces each week. Ashworth said he had struggled with depression, addiction, and anxiety throughout his life. He also owns his own landscaping business, so understood the pressures men face around providing for their family. ‘‘It was pretty hard opening up about my own story, own vulnerabilities and who I am, but it’s about creating an environment where guys can help each other. ‘‘It’s not just a place you have to come to if you’ve got problems, we’ve got people who just come along and listen.’’ Munro founded For All The Brothers just over four years ago after battling with depression and anxiety himself. He didn’t have anyone to turn to and decided if he felt that way, there must be others too. He started it as an Instagram page, funding everything himself, and now there are outlets around the country. ‘‘We’re not therapists or counsellors, we just want to be that entry point to get guys talking.’’