When amateurs touch things they know nothing about
Taking the radiator cap off the editorial Peugeot ute after driving it back to Christchurch from the North Island, I was not impressed at all to see a coating of emulsified oil on it and coating the top tank.
Bearing in mind that the head gasket had only recently been replaced and retorqued, this was guaranteed to wind me up and for a while there was a cheap ute in my shed and I was eyeing up a container of petrol and a box of matches to sort the thing out for once and for all!
After a time of procrastination (lasting 3 months!) I finally gathered almost enough enthusiasm to pull it apart. Recognising my not inconsiderable lack of ability, I called upon the services of a good mate, someone who knows his way around a Peugeot engine, David McBean. Releasing the head studs, even I thought they didn’t seem as tight as they should be and when the head was sitting on the bench, there was a worrying coat of oil between the surface of the head and the gasket itself, as if it hadn’t been tightened properly. Odd, as I was sure that it had been pulled down correctly.
After checking that the head wasn’t warped and everything else was in order, the time came to put it back together. My father and friends were somewhat concerned when I announced that I was going to do this myself, without any outside assistance (I had the manual, it is a simple engine, how hard could it possibly be???). And it all seemed to go well. Not only that, but when questioned at the pub by Terry Marshall and Alex Mitchell, I was proudly able to report that it was back together, running well and most surprisingly, I had no spare parts left over. How clever am I?
As it turns out, not as clever as I thought I might be. Heading back north, with Alex along for part of the journey, we had not long left his home when it was obvious that the electro-magnetic fan had not engaged, despite the temperature gauge reading higher than it should. We stopped and opened the bonnet. Odd, the alternator belt seemed loose and I distinctly remembered tightening it. A closer look and there was an obvious cause. The bolt holding the alternator to the engine was not there. Alex, being the polite and diplomatic soul that he is, didn’t take the p*ss at all. Or maybe he did. He suggested he would never breathe a word about this sorry episode, with the one proviso, that I buy him one pint of beer every night for the term of his natural life. I did think of putting a premature end to his natural life, but I didn’t fancy going to prison just to get out of buying him beer, although the idea did seem quite tempting. Best to come clean, and now he can tell anyone he wants and I don’t care.
I was scratching my head wondering why I didn’t have a spare nut, bolt and spring washer left over when I thought I had finished the job. It took a while to work it out. I had removed the brace from the head to the alternator and loosened the main bolt to remove the belt. When I put everything back I hadn’t tightened that main bolt and it had unscrewed itself and fallen out. Damn!