STEP ONE: Cut and rake your grass (the hard way)

I did make one concession to modernity and common-sense. I admire the many people on Youtube who show such enthusiasm for cutting grass with a traditional scythe. But learning to scythe on a hilly section of the Akatarawa Valley would be more likely to result in a trip to hospital.

Scythes are also surprisingly expensive to buy and require a high level of skill to use efficiently.

A petrol brushcutter with a grass cutting blade would do the job.

The grass was knee-height, the weather forecast was for a week of sun, and I had time off work.

Manually cutting a hillside field of grass is as labour-intensive, cumbersome, and inefficient as you'd imagine.

Once cut, the grass needed to be raked up into windrows. These long lines help the piled-up grass to dry out.

Work methodically across the field, raking the cut grass up into mounded rows.

This is a nice way to spend a sunny day but it's easier if you can find others to help you. My helpers were bull terrier-cross Beanie and white German Shepherd Kujo. Their definition of ‘help' was to repeatedly crash through the neatly-raked rows. Occasionally they would wee on it.

One essential investment is a decent pitchfork. You need to turn each windrow twice a day, about lunchtime and again in the late afternoon-early evening, to dry the hay.

You want to turn and spread it out to expose any hidden green grass to ensure it is evenly sun-baked. Too green and wet and your hay will go mouldy, or worse, get so hot it starts a fire in your barn.

My helpers repeatedly crashed through the neatly-raked rows