IN CASE YOU WERE ASLEEP...

Okay – Steve Hansen... yep we doubted you were going to cut it as a head coach. Wow... feel free to give us an upper cut on that one. Or maybe get Thrushy to do it – he’s a big Jessie so it won’t hurt. Joke. Seriously... it was a joke. We were never rude about Dane Coles but secretly we thought the All Blacks were dreaming a bit that he was going to become a test regular. Colesy we apologise for thinking that and according to the Catholics, thinking things is an equally big sin as actually doing them. No wonder Catholics are guilt- ridden. Ma’a Nonu broke his arm against South Africa and ruled himself out for the remainder of 2014. Technically it was the medical team that ruled him out. And possibly the searing pain in his arm. It was a bit unfortunate that the All Black selectors had forfeited putting a midfield back on the bench for the South African test. They said to Ben Smith he could cover the midfield but not to worry because Nonu never gets injured. It was more than a bit fortunate that Smith happens to be about the most natural footballer on the planet and was quite brilliant even though he’d never played at No 12 before. Well he hadn’t started there. Much. But let’s not let facts and details get in the way here. This magazine isn’t built on facts, details and accuracy. Even more handy is the fact Sonny Bill Williams is coming back. The All Blacks lose a world class second- five. ‘ No problem,’ says Hansen, ‘ for my next trick, I will pull another world class second- five out of the hat’. ‘ And for my final trick,’ says Hansen, ‘ I’ll make that bloody NZ Rugby World disappear. Those clowns never believed in me. Or Thrushy. Or Colesy.’ ‘ Idiots’.