Digital nirvana a difficult place to find

HOW humiliating to find out that at a certain age you will become a victim of rampant technology. A digital Dumbo in fact!

But what if your misery is compounded by an allegedly reputable company offering an unbelievable package at an even more unbelievable price.

Vodafone’s offer was just $39.99/month for seniors — two free cordless phones, free calls to national landlines, 20GB of internet data and a free modem to boot.

Oh, the excitement, when a box arrived with all the paraphernalia. But this is where it gets interesting.

The instructions: ‘‘three easy steps to install’’ sounds fabulous. Yes, I’m off to Digital Paradise.

I tried the ‘‘three easy steps’’ many times over, but to no avail. Then in desperation I called a tech guru, to come to my rescue, but he couldn’t fix it. Then we rang the Vodafone technical backup desk person who, apart from sounding friendly, was no help at all.

So here I am, two weeks later, devoid of my now disconnected landline service and staring at a deadinthewater home phone bundle.

So can I say to early adopters, if you’re over 30, let alone in your 60s, be very careful about diving into the digital morass, because it’s a pond entirely suitable for digital drowning.

I’ve been to the funeral directors and I’ve got my gravestone sorted already: ‘‘Here rests the Epitome of a Digital Luddite’’.

Tony Crick Andersons Bay [Vodafone customer services director Helen Van Orton replies: ‘‘We’re really sorry Tony had a poor

experience in following our ‘three easy steps to install’ package. The setup process should be exactly that but

unfortunately, in Tony’s case, a systems issue at our end proved to be his downfall. We have spoken to Tony and apologised, and are pleased the

issue is fixed and he’s now up and running. We haven’t confirmed yet if

he’s reached digital paradise. ‘‘We’d hate for any of our customers to feel like a ‘digital Luddite’ and we’ll do everything in our power to keep

that from happening.’’]