Memorial services tricky with restrictions

TALKING about death is what has helped Dunedin woman Sue Walthert to grieve.

Since her mother, Una Divett (99), died in February last year, she has had to cancel her memorial service twice as a result of Covid19.

But knowing her mother’s final wishes has allowed her to do so without regret.

‘‘Our grief and joy over Mum was not affected by Covid19,’’ she said.

The first attempt to hold a memorial service for her, which family from Austria and Australia were meant to attend, was in May last year.

When the Covid19 alert level restrictions had not blown over by then, as hoped, it was rescheduled to this weekend at the Flagstaff Community Church to align with the oneyear anniversary of Mrs

Divett’s death.

Mrs Walthertt said, while her brothers could still not travel from overseas, family and friends would have travelled from around the country including, Auckland, Christchurch, Wellington, and Clyde. More than 100 people were supposed to attend.

Due to the level of uncertainty that came with the move to Alert Level 2 and how long it could last, she decided to cancel it again.

‘‘We were supposed to have a house full —it was going to be a lovely weekend.’’

While the second cancellation could be viewed as sad, there was another way to look at it, she said.

Mrs Walthert and her mother had openly discussed what she wanted to happen after her death.

Mrs Divett did not want her body or ashes to be at a funeral or memorial service and after being cremated she wanted a ‘‘joyous celebration of her life to be held when family could gather’’.

That thought had allowed her family to cancel the memorial free from regret or worry about whether it was the right thing to do, Mrs Walthert said.

‘‘If you can talk about dying before a person dies and know their wishes then it makes what comes afterwards so much easier.

‘‘We can get together when the time is right — it was what [Mum] wanted.’’

Hope and Sons Funeral Directors manager Andrew Maffey said, so far, they had not had anyone cancel or postpone a funeral or memorial under the new restrictions.

Campbell & Sons Funeral Services owner Clark Campbell said they had been ‘‘lucky’’ and none of their services had been impacted by the restrictions.

However, that could change if Alert Level 2 was extended past tomorrow, he said.

PHOTO: STEPHEN JAQUIERY Hang on Mum . . . Dunedin woman Sue Walthert, who has now had to cancel two memorial services since her mother died last year, says it has not stopped her from grieving or celebrating her mother’s life.