Don’t be afraid to reach out for help

Shauni James shares her experience with anxiety and panic attacks to raise awareness for Mental Health Week There has only been one He Who Shall Not Be Named in the past who told me it was all something I was doing for attention.

The feeling of a fist squeezing inmy chest and the quickening of breaths ishowit usually starts for me.

Then it’s on to the dizziness, pins and needles all over and the fast, gasping breaths.

And possibly the most glamorous part is thatmysafe haven for the episodes tends to be the closest bathroom or toilet, where I can lock the world out and focus on slow, deep breaths.

Panic attacks and anxiety is not something I would wish on anyone.

I was first diagnosed with anxiety in 2016 bymydoctor at the time and was put on to Citalopram— an antidepressant also used for anxiety.

Mymother had talkedmeinto going oncemyanxiety had started to affectmyeveryday life in manylittle ways. For example, I wasn’t able to leavemyflat without checking every power pointwas switched off or plugged in properly, and that no wires were touching each other— and, of course, I had to check an even number of times. I don’t know about you, but I find odd numbers muchtoo risky.

Twotimes usually wasn’t enough to helpmefeel better, so four tended to be the magic number.

Thesamewent for checking the doorwas locked before leaving, though this took a larger number of checks (even amount, of course) before I was somewhat satisfied.

There can be a range of symptoms whenyou first start taking the medication Citalopram, and it’s different for everyone.

I have to admit I didn’t have the best timewhen I first started taking that little white pill and I have had a fairly love-hate relationship with it over the years.

The first two or three weeks featured nausea, loss of appetite, weight loss, trouble sleeping, and somenight terrors. However, it did all pass (with the added bonus of being able to fit into a couple of cute old dresses), and I can’t deny the fact thatwhen I take it regularly it really does work formepersonally.

I have been lucky in that stigma around anxiety and mental health is not something I have really experienced personally.

In fact, the crazy thing is I had more stigma around it within myself than anyone else. I used to hate that I was “relying” on a pill tomakeme feel better. I thought I should be stronger than that.

There has only been onehewho Shall Notbenamedin the pastwho toldmeit was all something I was doing for attention. It just intensified those feelings of self-guilt around not being able to control it onmy own.

Inmyopinion, this is one of the worst things you can say to someone dealing with mental health. However, I rarely bring upmyanxiety struggles with people unless mental health comes up in conversation.

Andwhen I do?

People so far have been accepting and understanding, and it has been eye-opening to hear howmanyhave similar struggles.

So, in the spirit of Mental Health Awarenessweek— and from one often nervous wreck whois still trucking along well— don’t be afraid to share your feelings with someone. Youmaybe surprisedwhois in the sameboat as you.