MOTHER LOVE
‘She is my amazing mum and I love her': Mums and their firstborns celebrate their bond
If ever there’s a time to celebrate the matriarchs of our families, it’s Mother’s Day. Through trial and tribulation, mums hold down the home fort, providing much-needed comfort and solace.
Carly Gibbs speaks to four mothers and their firstborn children about their special bond.
Colleen and Justin Tipiwhenua ‘Tipi’ Walters
“Ka¯ore he aroha nui atu i te aroha o te ma¯ma¯ ki ta¯na tamaiti ma¯ta¯mua [there’s no love greater than that of a mother for her firstborn],” says widow Colleen, 47, whose eldest son Tipi, 28, is her fulltime caregiver.
In 2018, the wha¯nau were living in Melbourne when Colleen returned to New Zealand to farewell her uncle Paeahi Ranginui Wanakore, who was unwell.
He died while she was here, and the night before his burial, she collapsed at Te Rereatukahia Marae while playing the guitar. She suffered two burst aneurysms and two strokes within a week, leaving her with paralysis on the left side of her body.
“I really believe his death brought me home for my safety. I was surrounded by my nearest and dearest.”
Now living in Rotorua, sons Tipi, 28, and Michael, 21, have moved home to be by her side.
Colleen’s husband, Boy Rangihau, died in 2014 at age 57 of a ruptured aneurysm — the same condition that nearly took her life.
What makes your relationship special?
Colleen: He is my first love and firstborn and named after my late grandfather Tipiwhenua Walters, who raised me on his own, from the time I was 2. [Tipi] is a constant reminder to me of my koro. We’ve been through a lot together. I was a solo mother and met his father Boy
Rangihau when Tipi was three years old.
Boy was the only father Tipi knew.
Tipi: She brought me into this world and I am her first child.
What’s been a personal experience between the two of you that has especially touched your heart?
Colleen: Tipi and his then partner flew to Perth in 2014 to experience life over there, and his father and I dropped them off at the airport. His father’s parting words were: ‘Make sure you look after each other’. A month later, Tipi had to fly home for his father’s funeral. It broke my heart to see him standing at the gate of the marae in the middle of the night. He stayed in New Zealand for a few weeks afterwards to make sure his younger brother Michael and
I were okay. I will forever be grateful to him for that.
Tipi: Just knowing I have her support throughout my lifetime. I will forever hold on to those moments.
What is the greatest lesson you’ve learnt from each other?
Colleen: To be humble and not be ashamed to accept a helping hand.
Tipi: Time is precious. Enjoy the moments with the people you love.
How has your relationship evolved?
Colleen: Our relationship has done a full 360 where once I was the carer and protector, it has now become Tipi’s role to look after me.
Tipi: This is the first time I have been back with my mother since I was 16 and left home. Now aged 28, and back with mum, I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.
How will you celebrate Mother’s Day?
Colleen: Hopefully getting some ‘nice’ photos; a big kai; and drink the wine that Tipi is going to give me.
Tipi: Get mum some wine and
chocolates.
Tineke and Maisie O’callaghan
Tineke and Maisie share a love of shopping and fashion, and occasionally share wardrobes.
“We have a bond that is greater than your typical mother-daughter bond. We have a lot of trust in each other and can openly talk, knowing the other will listen,” says Tineke, 40.
“A bonus of Maisie only being 13 is that she’s not too big to give her mum a snuggle - when I time it right.”
Tineke is a team leader at Mokoia Intermediate and Maisie, who models and is a competitive dancer, attends Rotorua Lakes High.
They live with dad Steven, 40, managing
director of O’callaghan