COVER STORY
It’s up to us to help them through these challenges and to remind them that we
were once teenagers too.
Amanda: That life doesn’t have to be serious all the time. We have our children at home for such a short time and I’m
learning to enjoy the little things we experience together.
Eli: To respect each other because when you don’t respect the other person, they won’t respect you back.
What’s a personal experience between the two of you that has especially touched your heart?
Amanda: Having Eli at my side the day my grandmother Coralie passed away. It was a special day to share with him, and a chance for us to realise how precious time with your loved ones is.
Eli: When we were moving from Auckland to Rotorua, I didn’t want to leave my home and school friends. We took a photo in front of our old house and it was a special moment because I knew we were going on to other adventures.
How will you celebrate Mothers Day?
Amanda: Pancakes in bed, accompanied by my children delivering handmade cards and gifts. I love a lunch out too.
Eli: Going shopping and out for lunch some of mum’s favourite things.
— Amanda De Bruin
Amanda and Hayley De Bruin
Dental receptionist and solo mum Amanda, 37, jokes that her only child, Hayley, 14, is her “little broke best friend”.
The close mother-daughter duo have a love for anything arty, as well as animation movies, nature, and a “passion” for cats. “Not only do we have our own cats, Chops, Vinnie and Maggie, but we foster cats for Tauranga’s Wild Whiskers.”
When were you proudest of each other?
Amanda: Hayley has had to face many challenges - good and bad - over the years, including immigrating to New Zealand from South Africa eight years ago; bullying; the loss of loved ones; and recently breaking her artistic arm. The way she has handled each challenge has made me so proud. Not once did she allow any of it to break her spirit. Her perseverance and stubbornness make her who she is today.
Hayley: I’m always proud of my mum.
Being a mum might look easy from a distance but it is so much harder close up. What do you think makes a good mum?
Amanda: Besides sharing your favourite Turkish Delight chocolates, I think it’s to show up for your child. They’re still learning the life skills that we as adults have already obtained. It’s up to us to help them through these challenges and to remind them that
we were once teenagers too.
Hayley: I love her cooking, especially her lasagne, and how she parents me — she doesn’t bug me. I can be open and she accepts me for who I am. I love this quality. No judgments. That’s what makes me love her so much.
The teenage years are often fraught with worry for a mum and a time of growing independence for a girl. How have you both worked to keep the lines of communication open? Amanda: Since Hayley was young, I taught her the importance of communication. We have an open relationship and respect each other’s boundaries.
Hayley: My mum is always there if I need to talk to her. She’s one of my best friends.
How will you celebrate Mother’s Day?
Amanda: Knowing us we will probably be sleeping in, and then cuddling on the couch for the rest of the day watching cartoons. Hayley wants to become an animator.
Hayley: A movie day, and just chill.