Positive side of life in a school hostel
Anyone reading the news this week might have formed a pretty poor picture of what boarding schools are like.
They might think these are institutions where bullying and thuggery thrives. Where wealthy, entitled enfants terribles rule the roost with intimidation and violence.
I can’t speak for the “rough and tumble” at the boarding schools of 1999 or even for those of today, but I can describe the other side of the coin to what has been reported from my own experience.
I could not wait to go to boarding school. It was the early 2000s. I was headstrong and eager for independence.
Coming from a farming family where going away to school was the norm, it felt like part of our tradition.
But the biggest influence was my literary diet of Harry Potter and Enid Blyton-esque British boarding house romps replete with midnight feasts and sneaking out and lashings of “jolly good fun”.
Even with expectations set unreasonably high, my Kiwi hostel experience somehow lived up to them.
Those five years of boarding in high school changed me for the better.
Most of the credit for that must go to the cohort of funny, kind, creative and occasionally wild girls I shared the dorms with. Generally, living together was fine.
With 20-plus girls to a year group, however, of course there were cliques and everyone did not always all get along.
I don’t remember any physical bullying the likes of which Tauranga MP Sam Uffindell has admitted participating in as a schoolboy, but I am sure there was bullying of other kinds — gossiping, teasing, exclusion.
From my admittedly rose-tinted point of view, it seemed to me that issues between people were generally worked through — hard not to, living in such close quarters.
I can still see how a poorly managed boarding house could become a viperous pit (especially in this age where social media gives bullies many more platforms), but that was not my experience.
I found boarding a supportive, fun and motivating environment that helped me grow in confidence and independence.
When I think of those years, I remember crunching across frosty grass to the dining hall for breakfast with pyjama pants under our kilts. Making toast and watching the same rented movies over and over on weekends in.
Prep (homework time) on school nights, weekend stays with daygirls, boarders’ chapel service every Sunday.
Sharing the shock of the September 11 terrorist attack huddled in silence around the TV in the spare lounge.
A lot of whispered conversations across cubicle walls after lights out and being busted by the matron. Choreographed dances, private jokes, two-minute showers, gym sessions and long car rides.
I think I was too busy to be homesick much, and home was always only a phone call away. I appreciated time spent with my family more for being away.
As of 2020, there were 92 hostels in schools around New Zealand, according to a Ministry of Education report.
Private schools had 23 hostels and state integrated schools 28. It might surprise some to learn that the rest (41) were attached to state schools. These are often smaller hostels serving students from rural communities.
Between the lot, they could host 12,664 students and up to 2000 staff.
It is a privilege to go to boarding school, and one I acknowledge is not accessible to many people because of the cost.
If you do have the means, in my experience the key to making the high school hostel work is a student who wants to go.
I would hate to think young people considering joining that number, or their parents, would be put off or frightened by the image painted this week.