Get your partner on board with frugality
If you’re not on the same financial wavelength, then your relationship could be at risk.
WHENyou’re weighing up a new romantic partner, chances are you can’t keep your eyes off their seemingly gorgeous physical attributes. If you’re going to do some inappropriate staring, it really ought to be at their credit card statements.
Your choice of partner – and whether to shack up in the first place – has a massive impact on your financial success. Housing is the biggest item on anyone’s budget, so cutting that in half is a big win (it’s also harder to get a mortgage with a single income). That’s not to mention utilities, vehicles, and a bunch of other expenses that can be shared.
Of course, having a partner can also be ruinous. Going by the current divorce rate, you have about a one in three chance of it all ending in tears, some of them shed after receiving the lawyers’ bills.
Studies have consistently found the number one factor for relationship breakdown isn’t infidelity, or whose turn it is to wash the dishes. It’s money. If you’re not on the same financial wavelength, you’re doomed.
Frugal living is an excellent way to reduce the money stress that ruins relationships. Budget Buster readers know how to build a financial emergency kit, free themselves from the crushing jaws of the debt trap, and save up for whatever makes them genuinely happy.
Sadly, most people do not. Here are three golden rules for helping a loved one see the light:
1. LEAD BY EXAMPLE
It’s never advisable to offer an unsolicited opinion. Sure, I’m preaching right now, but you’ve given me permission by reading this article. If I’d turned up on your doorstep and started ranting, I’d expect to be kicked to the curb. Don’t give advice to friends or partners unless they bring it up first. Instead, focus on setting a great example. Eventually the benefits of the lifestyle will speak for themselves, and they’ll start to get curious. It’s a rare person who changes their mind because someone told them to, rather than coming to the realisation on their own.
2. NEVER, EVER BE A CHEAPSKATE
This is guaranteed to turn people off the frugal life forever. Saving money through simple living, selfcontrol, and savvy buying is the definition of frugality. Saving money at the expense of others – ‘forgetting’ your wallet, giving cruddy gifts, petty theft at the selfcheckout – is the definition of being a tightwad. Deny yourself as much as you want, but err on the side of being extra generous with your loved ones.
3. FIND ACOMMONGOAL
Frugality is rewarding in and of itself, but it’s pretty much impossible to understand that from the outside. Instead of talking up the lifestyle, ‘sell’ your spouse on a shared, big picture goal – whether it be early retirement, free time to raise kids, putting a deposit on a house, or a holiday. You’ll both be pulling in the same direction, and along the way your partner might come to realise it’s not such a hardship.
If your better half is plugged into the cult of mindless consumerism, you really only have two options: Try and help 123rf them escape, or prepare yourself for possible problems down the track. Reversing decades of brainwashing is difficult, but it’s not impossible. Good luck!
Got a money question? Email Budget Buster at richard.meadows@thedeepdish.org, or hit him up on Twitter at @MeadowsRichard.