Why remembrance shouldn’t be stuck in the past
AS an ambassador for the country’s Returned and Services Association, my dawn wake up call came early this year.
Friday morning saw me blearily making my way into Auckland to do the rounds at a couple of radio station breakfast shows, to encourage listeners to donate and thereby support the work of the RSA.
I so admire the hosts’ ability to be up and constantly entertaining before 7am, five days week. It’s a time of the day that – especially in winter – could also conceivably be known as ‘‘night time’’.
Whether it was chatting to the morning show hosts on The Edge, Mai FMor Radio Sport as I did, they were all engaged. It seems that whatever music you listen to, whatever things float your boat, New Zealanders generally seem interested and respectful when it comes to Anzac Day.
Later in the morning I met someone who is living evidence of why it’s great that Kiwis rally around and help each other. Particularly, when it comes supporting those who may never return from service.
Tina Grant is a force of nature. She’s a primary school teacher by trade and has had 17 years in uniform for the New Zealand Defence Force. She joined me to help spread the message.
Her children, Jemma and Jayden were with her. They’re bright and intelligent, and bear the quiet seriousness of those youngsters that have had to grow up sooner than others their age.
Tina’s husband Corporal Douglas Grant was killed in a firefight in Afghanistan in 2011. He was mortally wounded while he and his SAS colleagues were trying to rescue five hostages held at the British Council centre in Kabul.
She can still remember the shock of the day she got a phone call from an army padre and liaison officer, and realised they were standing in her driveway.
Knowing the liaison officer, she demanded to know what he was doing there and whether he realised whose house it was, GETTY IMAGES before time seemed to stop and she broke down.
She and her two kids moved from Palmerston North to Auckland and she had to quickly turn from grieving widow mode to solider mode so she could take care of what needed to be done.
But away from work Tina would go home, surround herself with her kids, sit in Douglas’s chair and just cry. While she got by surrounded by friends in the military, who rallied around her as family, she worried that other families of the fallen wouldn’t receive the same support.
She wrote to the Army identifying the need to fill this gap and their response was to offer her the job of filling it. Tina thought she could do it part time but the role only got bigger so now it’s a fulltime gig.
For her, it’s not about how the soldier died, but being there for the families who must then cope without them. The basic approach is bringing people together who have shared a similar experience so they can support each other and realise they’re not alone.
While Tina is employed fulltime by the Army, she is also able to support the work of the RSA and their work with voluntary organisations who support veterans suffering with mental health, hardship, counselling and any other issues.
For these families of the fallen and the more than 30,000 veterans of conflicts dating just from the Vietnam War, Anzac Day is about much more than the historic conflicts that gave rise to the organisation.
As Tina says: ‘‘It’s not just remembering our past soldiers but being aware of our contemporary soldiers. They do have struggles but we’re more aware of them now. The only way to get to these veterans is with the RSA. If they shut down and close their doors, where are our people going to go for that help and support?’’