Insights into gender woes
Misunderstood sexual preferences result in stigma and rejection, writes Brittany Keogh.
A new study reveals many ‘‘bisexual-plus’’ Kiwi women feel misunderstood and invalidated when dating.
Auckland University of Technology doctoral candidate Tara Pond is the first New Zealand academic to analyse indepth the lives and romantic relationships of bisexual-plus women – those attracted to multiple genders.
Pond surveyed 1000 women aged 20 to 88 who identified as bisexual, pansexual or queer. She found bisexual-plus women often experienced prejudice while in relationships with people of different genders.
‘‘When a woman’s in a relationship with a man they look like they’re heterosexual, when they’re in a relationship with a woman they look like they’re gay and so people will call them that. [Participants] felt quite invalidated or oppressed by those labels.’’
One participant anonymously told Pond she felt like a ‘‘tourist’’ in the rainbow community. ‘‘Biphobia may be more extreme from straight people but it hurts more when it’s from queer people.’’
Another said some lesbians dismissed her when she came out: ‘‘They’re like ‘oh you just can’t make your mind up, so that’s stupid’.’’ A third respondent recounted having her sexual identity questioned by both straight and gay people.
‘‘They’re going, ‘you’re not actually bisexual, it’s not really a thing, you’re actually a lesbian in denial or you’re a straight person who’s pretending to try and trick us’.’’
Ninety-five per cent of respondents felt their sexual identity was less visible when they were in a monogamous relationship with a man than when they were single.
Pond said the findings showed ‘‘how we view sexual identity isn’t reflecting how people are experiencing sexual identity’’.
Some participants said they had to explain to their partners what bisexuality was and reassure them being attracted to multiple genders didn’t mean they were more likely to cheat.
‘‘Bisexuality is seen as all about threesomes and having sex or relationships with multiple people at the same time, or cheating on your partners – there’s a lot of stigma around that,’’ Pond said.
Previous research showed young people who identified as bisexual or gay were more likely to consider suicide and had higher rates of drug and alcohol usage than their heterosexual
‘Biphobia . . . hurts more when it’s from queer people.’ SURVEY RESPONDENT
peers.
Pond said acknowledging the stigma bisexual-plus people faced and making the sexual education curriculum more LGBTIQ+-inclusive could help improve the health outcomes of bisexual people.
RainbowYOUTH executive director Frances Arns said the study’s findings confirmed more work needed to be done to ensure acceptance of people attracted to multiple genders.