Looking for love? Maybe become a reality TV star
Mikaela Wilkes runs through the best, worst and weirdest dating shows.
Love Island (UK): Neon
To be an Islander, you should be a thirsty young gym-rat, of either cisgender, looking for love (or at least thousands of ’gram followers and dollars in sponsorship deals).
Step two: fly to a Spanish island villa with a suitcase full of swimwear and hairstyling tools, and lounge around in them for days on end, chewing on a water bottle and ‘‘pulling people for chats’’ to pass the time.
You’ll share a bed with your partner for the week until a gendered re-coupling ceremony, when the odd-single-out gets the boot. Once you’ve shacked up with someone, the public will vote and viciously dissect every moment of your on-screen relationship.
Survive all that to form a genuine connection, and you could walk away with $100K, a life partner, and probably a clothing line.
Married At First Sight (MAFS):
ThreeNow
Applying for a randomly (sorry, ‘‘expertly’’) picked husband or wife is not for the faint of heart. It’s also not for the inflexible. Mismatches tend to include a farmer and a city slicker; a person with a heart of gold and someone looking for a supermodel; a widower and a divorcee with protective adult children.
If you’re lucky, you’ll be the sweethearts of the group – like Brett and Angel, the only surviving couple from MAFS NZ. Good luck.
Dating Around:
This show is the closest thing to real-life dating to be found in a reality TV setup: it’s simply five blind dates, over drinks and dinner, with the prospect of another date at the end of it.
The casting is diverse, so come as you are, and it may be the one show where bisexuals are permitted to date men and
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women without comment or fanfare.
Too Hot To Handle: Netflix
If you’re a sexy single who fails to deepen your romantic relationships beyond meaningless sex, this could be your path to love, and a hefty cash prize. You’ll be joining a group of horny 20-somethings who are supposed to abstain from sex on television. If anyone breaks the no-touch rules, the prize fund is reduced from its starting point of $100,000.
The hope is that by the end, commitment-phobes will experience ‘‘personal growth’’.
Palmerston North lawyer Larissa Trownson took part in series two, with the aim of proving women can be both ‘‘sexy and smart’’.
Love is Blind:
Netflix’s smash hit is The Bachelor condensed and reshaped for hopeless romantics.
Single 20- and 30-somethings, mostly straight, get to know potential mates while lounging in individual ‘‘pods’’, with a wall between them. Good looks are out of the equation so relationships are based on the depth of conversation. It does
Netflix
help, though, that everyone is physically attractive.
Things get less theoretical after about a week, when several couples get engaged sight unseen. They meet face-to-face after the first proposal, then live together for a month before a quickie wedding.
Sexy Beasts: Netflix
If you don’t make the cut for Love Is Blind, there’s always Sexy Beasts: a series of first dates that supposedly help people embrace personality over looks, by dressing everyone up in whacky prosthetics.
Bachelor/ette: TVNZ
The Bachelor franchise is premised on falling in love, but it doesn’t have the best track record for long-lasting relationships. Of the 25 US bachelors so far, only four are still with their final rose picks. The Bachelorette has been only slightly more successful, with six of the women still with their rose recipients. And there hasn’t been a lasting Bachie NZ love since Art and Matilda in season one.
Heartbreak Island: TVNZ This New Zealand show is a hot mess. ‘‘It’s been sold on the premise of 16 very attractive young Kiwis ditching real life, and competing, as ever-changing couples, to win both a relationship, and $100,000. Yes, like Love Island, but it’s not Love Island, OK?’’ says Stuff reviewer Jack van Beynen.
Despite a chance to find love, the first series’ contestants are gunning for the money – which is understandable given house prices. Applications for season two casting closed recently.
The Farmer Wants a Wife: TVNZ
The title says it all. Dating apps don’t have a wide-ranging selection in small towns, so if you’re an eligible rural man there’s little to lose.