Is ‘Leo’s Law’ an age-old issue?
Actor Leonardo DiCaprio has yet again split with a girlfriend just months after her 25th birthday but, asks Lyric Waiwiri-Smith, why do some men date women half their age.
Turning 25 soon? You may finally be sorting out your career plans and seeing your friends getting married, but one door of opportunity has already closed for you: dating Leonardo DiCaprio.
Like clockwork, actor Leonardo DiCaprio has split with girlfriend Camila Morrone just months after her 25th birthday, backing a longstanding trend of the Titanic actor not dating women over 25.
Since his first high-profile relationship with model Gisele
Bu¨ ndchen, whom he started dating when she was 20 and he was 25 (before breaking up with her five years later), DiCaprio has never dated a woman older than 25, despite now being twice the age of the women he dates.
Hot off the heels of his breakup, DiCaprio has now been seen with 22-year-old model Maria Beregova, leading the internet to ask if the never-ending cycle of Leo’s Law of dating will ever finish.
Of course, DiCaprio’s relationships are perfectly legal (since Bu¨ ndchen, the youngest women he’s dated or pursued have been 20-years-old), but the startling age gaps between the actor and his girlfriends have led many to call out his dating preference as ‘‘disturbing’’.
In the wake of the pushback against DiCaprio, his former girlfriend Kristen Zang shared her story with People magazine in defence of her ex-boyfriend
She signalled out the ‘‘ageist’’ views of some commenting on the DiCaprio-Morrone split.
‘‘Maybe she really cared for him but was just ready for the next chapter, perhaps it’s temporary, or maybe it’s none of our business – but can we stop with the ageist headlines and comments?’’ Zang asked.
Zang and DiCaprio dated for four years from 1995-1997, ironically breaking up when Zang turned 25 – a decision she says she made.
‘‘I don’t know how to explain it exactly, I just felt like I was ready for our relationship to be done. It was like I had outgrown that version of myself, the Hollywood high school girl. I wanted to figure out who I was and what I wanted,’’ she said.
The Revenant actor isn’t the first or last middle-aged man to prefer the company of women half his age, but the psychology of why some men are more interested in women half their age could be chalked up to a number of driving factors, according to Wellington sex and relationship therapist Serafin Upton.
Fantasy, self-sabotage, fears of death and vulnerability and avoidant attachment styles are some reasons why women in their 20s appeal to middle-aged men.
Upton also says some men prefer to be with younger women because ‘‘the critical parts of their brain involved in decisionmaking are not fully developed until years later at age 25’’.
‘‘That older person is very much in control of that younger person – not necessarily in a conscious or malevolent way – but still in control regardless.’’
In DiCaprio’s case, Upton suggests part of the actor’s dating streak can be chalked up to his years of being known as a heartthrob.
‘‘If you’re Leonardo DiCaprio, you’re very used to being wanted because you are physically attractive,’’ Upton says.
‘‘I wondered whether what he gets out of younger women being into him is he constantly has that message reinforced that he’s a really good-looking guy.
‘‘I’d struggle to say there are people out there who don’t have a part of them who adore, welcome, or feel flattered by the attention from somebody who is a lot younger than themselves.’’
However, Upton says
DiCaprio is a ‘‘repeat offender’’ in his dating preferences, and crossed the line of someone who enjoys the attention of younger people by strictly dating young women.
‘‘There is a pattern of avoidance here,’’ says Upton.
‘‘Dating someone who is a lot younger than you is massive avoidance – it’s avoidance of reality, getting older, death, intimacy, taking responsibility, the list goes on. It has nothing to do with being a movie star, necessarily.’’
In her own work, Upton says relationships with significant age gaps are rarely likely to succeed.
‘‘It’s rare to find a relationship where there’s a larger age gap than 10 years that works well,’’ Upton says.
‘‘The bigger the age gap, the less chance it has of working. . . Developmentally, you just have nothing in common with someone who is 20 years older than you.’’
‘Dating someone who is a lot younger than you is massive avoidance.’ SERAFIN UPTON